JEALOUSY VS. TERRITORIAL

I'm not a jealous person. As I've said before, it's a waste of time and emotion. However, if we're out a bar or club and some other tomcat is sniffing around, don't be surprised if I pee on your leg.

I am man! Hear me yelp!

COMPLETE BLOCKAGE

I need to write an article I promised for a San Diego magazine - deadline being March 17 and I have to admit, I've got nothin'. The article needs to be humorous, perhaps even satirical. Obviously this blog has lacked a whole lot of interesting or humorous content in a while. My head is blocked with my own self-centered "here and now", and I'm dwelling on the fact that I can't come up with any topics, which makes it worse. It's like when I'm out at the bar and my bladder says, "Dude, it's THAT time." but I get to the urinal and my brain is saying, "With all these people around??? That's WAY too much pressure!!! No way Jose!!!! Not gonna happen!". Then I'm forced to zip-up, wash my hands and walk out - not just a broken man, but a broken man with a full bladder. Not cool. Not cool at all.

So any suggestions?

About the article. Not the stage fright.

YES, I DO HAVE TESTICLES

Despite watching entirely too much figure skating over the weekend, I actually spent most of the long weekend doing manly construction projects related to our downtown party loft. The loft is well known in certain San Diego circles. It's been leased out for the last year to a construction company building a highrise next door. We just got it back and we were anxious to begin upgrades. Here it is before painting the concrete portion of the floor:




After painting:

From 180 degrees of above picture:

Shot from an upstairs angle looking down:



The bar I built on Saturday (This was the most important project!):


So as you can see, the olympics haven't killed my sperm count. It remains full of testosterone and ready, strong and able at any time I might need it, which may or may not be ever, depending on how much she looks like Tanith Belbin...

That is all.

THINGS SAID AT MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT

"Wow! They're really out of sync!"
"Very fluid performance."
"Great footwork."
"Did you see that little foot drop there? That's gonna cost 'em."
"Much better performance than yesterday's."
"He's back in good graces now!"
"That's a great costume she's wearing."

After two hours of watching Ice Dancing, I concluded that my buddy and I are watching too much of the Olympics and quite possibly had the gayest conversations ever had by two straight guys.

Scary when our armchair commentary is then repeated by the NBC announcers....

TODAY

As an Olympics junky, it's been my duty to turn on NBC when I get back from my morning run to check into what's happening in Torino (or Turin - which is it??). Unfortunately, the Today show is the vessel which NBC chooses to relay the winter games in the morning. Of course, programming-wise this makes sense, but there's a reason I stopped watching Today many years ago.

I remember the days when Today was a dignified program where real issues were discussed and time was spent on interviews by serious interviewers (Bryant GumBALL and Jane Pauly - neither of whom I particularly care for, but they're really good at what they do). When Katie Couric first started, she was cute and added a little zing to the cast with her puppy-dog like features. She was a good addition at the time. I enjoyed the show then.

Over the years, things have changed. At some point several years ago, the producers started to slowly change the format to match a demographic that I'm only assuming caters to the soccer moms. Obviously not a bad idea because they've dominated that time slot of programming for as long as I can remember. Problem is, I'm not a soccer mom. So this doesn't work for me - and in my self-involved world it should.

At what point did Katie become a condescending bitch? Matt Lauer does get some decent interviews and asks some good, poignant questions on occasion but for the most part he's kind of a penis wrinkle with a bad haircut. Al Roker is a jovial character, and it's hard to pick on jovial characters, but what exactly does he do? Anne Curry is the only person on the show who I think maintains some dignity. Aside from her elegant sexiness, she delivers the news in a careful and thoughtful manner. The worst part is that she constantly gets screwed. While the 3 stooges get to trot all over the globe, she's stuck in studio 3B freezing her ass off. Frozen out. There is no justice.

So Katie,Matt and Al, Sorry but every time I give you another chance after months of not viewing the show, you continue to disappoint me. After the Olympics conclude, I'm afraid I won't tune in again until one or more of you is gone. With that, I bid you good luck and good morning.

I'm now going to resume watching Curling events on CNBC, thank you very much! I'm not sure there has ever been a more boring sport which has so enticingly captivated me into a Curling watching junky. GO TEAM USA!!

LIVE MUSIC (FOR ONCE)

So you've read here before about my disappointment with the live music scene in SD (or lack thereof), of which I was so accustomed in Texas. Apparently "DJ's" are cool here. Don't get me wrong, I can really appreciate a good mix, but are turntables considered an instrument? I think not. I have appreciation for those who have spent years perfecting mastery of an actual instrument - which is half the reason I love music so much. Also the reason why I like all types of music.

Tonight, on the agenda is Big Head Todd and the Monsters. They rock! 'Nuff said.

Got THIS LINK from That Girl.............

A PROBLEM OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS

I love sports. Most people who have visited here for a while know this. I'm not a big basketball fan, so this time of year tends to bum me out - football is over until August and Baseball doesn't start for another two months. Because of this, I'm happy to have the Olympics this year to help me through the dead months.

Needless to say, I spent several hours this weekend glued to NBC watching the various events, many of which amaze me. I grew up ski racing and spent 10 years of my youth competing around the country, not that I really was ever that good- my parents just liked having me overly involved in something to keep me from the vagrancy that many of my buddies were practicing. Watching it remindes me of my days of constant and enless training and how it ruined skiing for me to the extent that the thought of skiing has no appeal to me any longer. I often speak to my childhood friends who were in the same boat and for them, it's the same. Don't get me wrong, I love watching the skiing but it's the other events that amaze me the most. Like Luge and the other sledding type events - how does somebody get into this sport?? Are there Luge resorts somewhere?? Is there a lot of competition in Luge?? It looks like a blast! What about Curling? I've never seen a curling rink - do they have them in the northeast? Is it kind of like a bowling alley? Do people get off work on a Friday night and say to their friends "Hey! lets go have some coldies and get down at the curling rink!!!I want to try it.

Yesterday wasn't a great day for the American team, but I still couldn't help choking up a little at watching Sean White win for snowboarding and Michelle Kwan's teary farewell. These things are what the Olympics are all about - and not just because I'm on my Man Period.

This brings me up to my complaint of the day: When the Olympics are held in a time zone that is so far ahead of the telecast, does the media have to fucking ruin it?? Yesterday I logged on to the see world news around 3pm and in the headlines were the results of all the events I was looking forward to watching. WTF? It's like watching the Super Bowl on the west coast in a delayed telecast as it's already been played on the east coast and having my buddy from Hoboken NJ call me to tell me who won - which he would totally do, by the way, if given a chance.

I really hate complaining about anything without being able to offer a viable solution - it goes against everything I believe. This one is a little complex though. I'm sure since NBC carries the Winter Games, the other media organizations couldn't give a rats ass about spoiling the surprise. However, couldn't they be a little more considerate to their readers? Like when they are reviewing a movie or a book and they give you warning the they are giving away the surprise??

I'm boycotting the news until after the Olympics are over. I'm a news addict, so I hope you all can appreciate the sacrifice I'm making for Team America....

BURN IN HELL BIG NEWS ORGANIZATIONS!! BURN IN HELL!!!!

I'm not bitter or angry...

BOOBIES

Several years ago I was home during the day and watching an exploitative daytime talk-show, like Ricky "I'm as big as a" Lake, Jenny "I wish I were a real blonde" Jones, Sally "My real name is Jesse because I'm a man" Rapheal or something similar- and they had a panel of men on stage who undoubtedly were frat-boys who professed that their initial attraction to women had everything to do with tits and ass. Of course, being that it was a daytime talk-show the format was designed to turn the audience to a riotous outrage at how these guys could be so shallow. At one point, some dude in the audience- upon seeing the persecution of all the males in the studio- decided to take the self-righteous-indignation approach and proclaim that the guys on the stage were "pigs and should be ashamed of themselves for being so shallow as to judge a woman for her breasts!!!!". One panelist, undoubtedly the calmest (and destined to be a be a renouned trial lawyer) simply replied, "Oh. You must be an ASS man!" I was impressed. And it takes a lot to impress me -particularly if you take part in a stage setting on a daytime talk show. Seriously, if you got a call from the producers of Jerry Springer you'd know that either your girl/boyfriend has been messing around, is a transexual or is sleeping with your brother/cousin/father/uncle. Anyway you look at it - saying "yes" is gonna be bad. I digress.

That was over a decade ago. Times have changed. People are more willing to confront their sexuality/turn-ons and unless they are among the far-reaching-religious right, most people are pretty cool with it. No longer do people chide me for screaming "I LOVE BOOBIES!!!"- unless it's my next door neighbor and its 3am. Wait. I live next to a lesbian bar - second thought, nope! Nobody cares!

So I was visiting the site Citizen of the Month, which by-the-way is a funny-as-hell daily read, I jokingly commented about his use of a series of pictures of male-models and how it felt weird - like when the girls in my old office would pull up a picture of some dude with a giant,um, "member" just as I was walking by so that they could see me wince, shake my head and blush as they point and laughed at me. I'm not a homophobe - just a guy who doesn't necessarily get much out of pictures of men that are designed to arouse women. Neal, the author of Citizen, commented back with some musings (which I'm assuming were actually gentle sarcastic patronizations -which I of all people can appreciate) and asked what kind of "Manly topics" he should include on his site. I said "BOOBIES!" - well, okay not that emphatically- although that's how it sounded in my head.

Boobies! Bewbies! Boobs! Tities! Tits! Knockers! Cannons! Lungs! (I really could go on and on...) Really, who doesn't love boobies?? Big ones, small ones - it doesn't matter. They're fun to talk about, play with, lick, shake, massage, tickle, kiss, cover with chocolate (okay, this is getting a little out of hand...) Bottom line - people LOVE Boobies!

I really had a lot more to say about this topic, but the AADD just kicked in and the writer's block took form in the shape of fond memories of past girlfriends' boobies. I don't like where this mindset is headed..................

So that's all I've got to say about that. For now.

CONFIDENCE

I recently got hooked on the new show "Love Monkey". Anybody seen it? In all honesty, it's really a lot like "Ed", if you caught that show. Same lead actor, playing fundamentally the same part from a personality stand-point with the fore-shadowing storyline following some of the same principals. I really liked "Ed" and was a little miffed when it went off the air - so none of these similarities bother me. And really the best part of the show is the music and the themes.

Last night's episode was about confidence. The message was that regardless of what people may try and portray, confidence is a wavering thing - just like health or general moods. It can pop-up when you least expect it and draw back just as fast. When you are on a "confidence wave" things fall into place and tend to go smoothly in all aspects of your life. I generally agree with this.

However, isn't it directly related to one's overall general happiness? And not necessarily on a rational basis? In otherwords, you will have no confidence if you are overall depressed and discontent. However, what if you ARE generally happy - does that automatically make a person confident? I don't think so. What is the relationship between happiness and confidence? For me, if I don't continue to strive for my next goal, I lose confidence rather quickly - even if I'm generally pretty happy with myself. Which is fine - but I have trouble building up to goals rather than maintaining the momentum of a current goal climb. So if I'm not on a momentum rush, my confidence level drops off dramatically.

Right now I kind of feel in between.

I'VE BEEN TAGGED......

The lovely Ms. Sam tagged me for "fours", so here you go.....


Four jobs that I've had:
(hmmm. I've done lots of things, so I guess I should just pick the ones I liked)

1. I worked at a high-end men's clothing store in high-school and college.

2. Scuba Instructor at Club Med

3. Boat Captain

4. VP of Business Development for a consulting firm

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. Friday Night Lights
2. A Few Good Men
3. Old School
4. The Big Lebowski

Four places that I have lived:

1. Bozeman, Montana
2. St. Lucia, West Indies
3. Provodenciales, Turks and Caicos
4. Key Largo, Florida

But Texas will ALWAYS feel like home!

Four TV shows I watch:

1. HBO on Sunday nights - whatever series is in season
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Rescue Me
4. Four Kings

Four places I've vacationed:

1. Napa Valley
2. New Orleans
3. Ixtapa, Mexico
4. Grand Cayman

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Shrimp wontons from Banana Bay.
2. Veal Marsala
3. Beef chow mein from PF Changs.
4. The Benihana Special

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Foxnews.com
2. MSNBC
3. FoxSports
4.College Humor


Four places I would rather be:

1. Madrid, Spain
2. Any Caribbean beach
3. Greece
4. Texas

THERE IS NO GOV'T CONSPIRACY

I'm really thinking that the American people have hit an all time high on allowing the media to put them into panic mode. For the last few days- with the confirmation of Justice Alito- I've seen a lot of posts in the blog world which focus on the fear of anti-abortion laws. All of these have ultimately ended up voicing dismay with Dubya. So I'm going to voice my opinions here.

Awww fuck it. There's no point. I'm a republican. I'm not a right wing fundamentalist. I am pro-choice. I like bush, and I also like the president. There are a lot more people like me out there - even if they don't voice it because it's not the trend. Most everyone who reads my blog already knows this about me, so I should probably get some work done rather than waste my time ranting about the media and the citizens who believe everything they read and see on tv.

That is all.