MAYBE MY LAST POST BEFORE VACATION

Maybe. We'll see.

Remember the partial list of things to do I wrote yesterday? Yeah, haven't gotten to any of them yet. Maybe I'll start in a little while. I'm obviously a little indicisive at this very moment.

The Astros lost last night. Again. I felt it necessary to go drown my sorrow in beer afterwords. I don't really remember much about the end, but my buddy claims I was a miserable wingman when he was talking up some girl and her friend was trying to drag her away. Apparently I was pre-occupied with the emptyness of my glass and therefor not too attentive to my situational responsibilities. Sorry man. They were ugly anyway (not really, but I have to rationalize). All 4 of the two of them.

My ex called me last night. Don't know why I answered, I never answer the 100 calls a week she places to my number. To be honest, I'm surprised she even tries anymore. She had a couple of "important" things to tell me. The first of which was she wanted to tell me her "wishes" in the event she "doesn't make it" out of her same-day, minor,non-invasive surgery tomorrow. Why is she telling me this? Attention, obviously. She can't live without it in mass quantities. The second thing she wanted to tell me requires a little back ground: Right before I moved, she came charging into my house demanding some things she wanted back. I hadn't seen her in months and all of the sudden she's waking me up at 8am on a saturday morning screaching at me. She was lucky I didn't have "company". Anyhow, before I could even comprehend that this was really happening and not some twisted dream, she is rifling through my guest bedroom closet. I get up and calmly ask her to leave. She not-so-calmly starts freaking out about me moving. I once again calmly ask her to leave. She starts stomping and screaming. I showed her the way to the door. On the way out she decided to grab the first set of photos she saw - Assuming they were "ours". They weren't. They were of a trip that I took with a girl I dated (after her) and my brother and sis-in-law. Good pictures and the girl I was with was one of the best girlfriends I've ever had. Cutting to the chase here, she wanted to tell me that she had burned the pictures. WTF????? This kind of crazyness is precisely the reason we split in the first place. I hung up. "Bartender!! Nother beer please!! Wait, make that a double!!"

If I don't talk to y'all before I leave, catch y'all later!!

I CANT NOT LINK THIS

From J-Mo's site: THIS IS JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO LINK

I'M READY FOR MY VACATION

One more Astros game left to conclude my gluttonous week of pro sports. I'm excited for it, but also getting a little melancholy because I've been looking forward to it for so long and now its almost over. The Astros really need to win tonight - one for the gipper.

I still haven't faced the fact that I have a flight out of here on early Friday afternoon. There's laundry to do, work to pre-empt, hair to be cut, packing to do, banking to do, picking up to do and beer to be drank. Maybe Bed,Bath and Beyond - I don't know - I don't know if I'll have enough time!!

The walls are starting to close in on me and the voices in my head are multiplying from the usual dozen or so. They are yelling evil things like "The Astros suck!" and "Go Padres!!" Oh. Wait. Thats just the stadium. Sorry.

Someone, call the sanitarium. Tell them to send some tranquilizers and a heavy duty straight jacket.

Wait a minute... I'm the calm and collected guy - never mind, I'll be fine. (I think)

ITS MONDAY, BUT THATS OKAY WITH ME

...because the ASTROS ARE IN TOWN!!!!!!!

Went to the Chargers game yesterday and found I had been mis-informed as to the rival. It wasn't the Cowgirls at all, but the Rams. Lots of St.Louis fans there. The seats were incredible! There were two grumpy old men sitting next to me, but it was okay because they kept snapping at anyone who stood up in front of us -I think one of them even swatted someone with his cane. The Chargers won - most of the game they were creaming the Rams. Good times.

Today I have an afternoon meeting with a vendor at the horse track - I had to don a suit though. I usually don't wear a jacket often and only wear a tie 2 or 3 days a week. I really need to have these pants let out. I think I was a 32 when I got them. They are pretty tight now. Damn beer.

After the horse track, its off to the ballpark for part 1 of 3 nights of baseball bliss. Oswalt pitches tonight and Clemens tomorrow. Clemens is going up against Jake Peavy, the Padres' best starter. I'm not excited at all, at least I'm trying not to pee my pants.

On Friday I take off on vacation for a week. I'm actually going back to Montana to visit the family. I haven't been back in over two years and we haven't had the entire family together for exactly 5 years, although we've seen each other in smaller groups and individually several times since. Can wait. So its Monday, but not a conventional one, and my last Monday of work for 3 weeks, so its all good.

3 POSTS IN ONE DAY!!! GOTTA BE A RECORD

If you haven't seen "How to Dance Like a White Guy" you're clearly missing out.

Check it out here.

WHO ARE THESE IDIOTS??

So this group is trying to push the idea of introducing wild African animals to America's Great Plains under the auspice of ecological balance. Hasn't anyone ever told them that messing with Mother Nature is just a REALLY bad idea?

Click here for the full story.

I'M GETTING GIDDY

I've got a huge few days of gluttonous sports coming up starting Sunday. That's the day I'll be going to the season opener Chargers game!! Field level. 40 yard line. Against the Cowgirls. Yeah, I know. My love for Texas reaches only up to the point of being a Cowboys fan. Thats where I draw the line. The Texans are OK, but I never really felt the bond there. To be perfectly honest, I'm ashamed to admit that the Dolphins are my team. I've really lost interest in NFL anyhow. College ball is where its at - Hook 'em Horns!! Its really the best - I don't care who y'are! At any rate, my buddy's girlfriend's mom is coming into town and needed a "date" for the game, so I was happy to oblige. I can drink beer and cheer any sporting event with the best of them.

Then......

On Monday the ASTROS come to town for a 3 game series!!! WAHHOOOOOOO!!!!! Yes, I'll be at every game, so don't bother me on those nights. They better come with their A -game though, because the Padres have been doing well again. I've never been to a game in an opposing stadium as the team I'm cheering for, so I'm a little anxious. I told all my friends that have expressed interest in coming with me that they should expect I'll be wild and loud, chearing for the 'Stros.

One man. 4 days of live pro sports...

...and you thought it was safe to leave your house.

UPDATE

So "The Girl" stopped by for a few minutes last night......... with the girlfriend. I was on the porch after breaking up two fights in my yard from these bullish softball types duking it out. She came prancing up all sassy and smiles with the girlfriend trailing 3 paces behind, hands in pockets. The girl gives me a hug and turns to watch what will happen with me and the GF. The last time the 3 of us hung out, it was me and The Girl together and she was just a friend hanging with us drinking beer. I could tell she (the GF) was uncomfortable, not really sure what to say or how to act. I know this was a moment she was dreading. Wishing would never take place. I disarmed her by giving her a big hug. I could feel her heartbeat fast - then I could feel the tention release from her muscles as she remembered that I was actually a really good guy. They begged me to come out drinking with them, but I knew it wasn't a good idea - and I was still feeling a little achey.

As they walked away, the GF grabbed her hand as if to mark her territory. In retrospect, I recall looking away because for some reason it made me a little uncomfortable - I'm not a jealous type, so it wasn't that - more that I know what "The Girl" says to me and its all just a phase to her. To the GF, its different. More serious. More committed.

It'll be interesting to see how the week unfolds. I'll do my best to stay away from instigating conflict or controversy, because I have no need. I didn't want her when I had her. Or at least not on the terms she required. I cannot lie though - the competitive, alpha instinct in me wants to prove who REALLY has the power. I'll repress that thought, for the time being.

IT FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME

Normally, I don't get bad hangovers. At least not in any terrible way. Maybe a small headache that I can knock out with some Advil, but nothing serious. When I wake up after a night of drinking, I have a big choice to make. I can either get up and get really active, or I can take 10 steps to the couch. Either one sets the tone for the day. Normally, I choose to get up and be active. This isn't altogether the best option always.

Thursday night I drank quite a bit. My buddy and I met up with some female acquaintances who are barely 22 and drink like it. I don't typically do shots, but, well, when they buy them and are holding them between their breasts, it just wouldn't be polite to refuse. Obviously much of the rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but I'm sure I didn't get much sleep. Friday night was a similar story, except I only had one shot, because the waitress wanted to do one with me and she paid. I think she kind of likes me, and she's super hot. Someone told me she has a boyfriend, but she didn't mention it and didn't act like it - so I'll conveniently ignore that piece of information. Left the car at the bar, because I'm a responsible drinker -(yeah, right!) and returned on Saturday morning to pick it up. I was hungry and so I went back in for some food and a bloody mary, which turned into 3 or 4 and a hand full of beers. By 6, I was feeling good mentally, but my whole body was starting to ache, so I went home. For the rest of the night and most of the next day, I was down for the count, with aches and sweats and unable to sleep because of it all. UGH!! By last night, I was feeling much better. I guess you have to pay to play.

In other news, the Women's Softball World Series is in town this week and if any of you recall the girl I used to "date" that shacked up with a girl after me - she's in town with the girlfriend, but wants to "meet up". She's been calling and texting for a couple of weeks now, trying to firm up plans. Evidently they have a party tonight at the dyke bar next door - I can only guess the drama!!

I'M A TOTAL NERD, IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW

I just bought the soundtrack to Friday Night Lights. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie. You should. Both are pretty good. I read the book several years ago when I discovered how truely big high school football is in the state of Texas. When I saw the movie not too long ago I was able to say that it was one of the few times that the movie was as good or better than the book. Maybe because its real life and the book gets into superfluous details that the movie doesn't.

The soundtrack is very soothing. Its good to listen for working, reading, chilling. I'm sure its good for makin' some luv too, but I haven't tried that out yet. I just got it today for cryin' out loud, give me a break!!

Anyhow, about the reading. I've read 5 books this month, all of them newer, best seller types. I had an epiphany that I'm not reading enough of the classics, so I've pledged to read 3 classics in a row. I just started The Fountianhead by Ayn Rand and will start Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes after that. I'm not sure what the 3rd will be. Any suggestions??

I have no idea where I find the time to read. I guess I don't sleep much - don't require it.

I know, I'm a nerd.

TAGGED

And I've got nuthin' else to report, so I got tagged by Lissa Ann:

"List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."


Einstien on the Beach - Counting Crows (first song they ever recorded)
Somewhere down in Texas - Jason Boland and the Stragglers, Duh!
Mrs. Potter - Counting Crows -- What can I say, Films About Ghosts is stuck on.
Down Mexico Way - Frank Sinatra - Whats a list of music without Sinatra??
Tonights Not The Night - Randy Rogers Band, 'nother TX band from Austin
Best of You - Foo Fighters, got the TIX for the Sept. show in SD yesterday!
Fade into You - Mazzy Star, this is just a great song to have sex to, so I hear.
Bittersweet - Big Head Todd and the Monsters, reminds me of college (long ago!!)
Where the Streets Have No Name - U2. Period.
Wild Horses - Rolling Stones. Gotta have some old school in there!

I could go on with the Buena Vista Social Club, Thievery Corporation,Lincoln Park,Social Distortion,G-Love, Bob Marley etc, but the show must stop somewhere, right???

VIPERS

The IRS are blood-sucking vipers.

'Nuff said.

THIS IS JUST GOOD COMEDY!!

Site: Street Scene, San Diego
Time: Last weekend
Show: Black Eyed Peas
Subject: Did she or didn't she - Fergie has mysterious stain on pants.

CHECK IT OUT!!!

DOUBLE STANDARDS: A BRIEF RANT

Sticking with the teenager theme:

By now, I'm sure everyone has seen THIS STORY and/or its follow-up stories.

First of all, this teacher is hot. What horned-up teenage kid wouldn't want to sleep with her?

Second, when I was 16 I had a "friend" who made out with one of his teachers. No! It wasn't me!! It was my "friend"! Damn she was a good kisser! (At least thats what my "friend" said.) I don't see anything wrong with that.

Thirdly, these kids come out of this with a great education!! I can say that I learned A LOT from the first older woman I dated, back when I was a spry young buck.

So getting to the point, should this woman really be tried for stat. rape?? I really hate that whole concept anyway. Rape is rape is rape - if one person is not a willing participant, it is rape. If both are post-pubescent and consenting, it really shouldn't be a problem. I'm not saying that I necessarily agree with people of that large of age discrepancy messing around, I'm just saying that the charges are ridiculous. I'm also not condoning teachers and students messing around. To accept that is standing on top of a very slippery slope.

Do I think this woman should be criminally charged? I'm not sure, depends on the lesser charge. Should she have to spend the rest of her life registering as a sex offender? No.

What if she were a man and the students were girls? He would be burned at the stake and picked apart by vultures. Is this right? Depends on the circumstance. I remember lots of girls in my high school who not only knew they were hot, but made SURE the male teachers noticed them. Should a male teacher charged with same charges be forced to register as a sex offender the rest of his life? I don't think so.

This is all a matter of discretion. Not to be confused with the sicko perverts who seriously pray on little kids. Those are the people that should be brutally punished.

Having said all that, do I think woman and men should be held similarly accountable in these similar circumstances? No. I know our justice system functions under the idea of "without prejudice", and it seems to work that way. Changing it could open Pandora's box. However, I also believe in sensibility and often times people are charged with shit that just isn't sensible.

Thats what I think. Coming to you live, my name is Brian. Thanks, and goodnight.

I DON'T THINK I'D SURVIVE PRISON

I went to a dinner party last night. It was a birthday gathering for my buddy's Austrian girlfriend. The food was outstanding. The drinking was good, although she made some kind of Austrian version of jungle juice which was clearly potent enough to strip the paint off an airplane. Of course it had fruit slices, which had been soaking and tasted like a shot of pure ethel alcohol with each bite. Needless to say, I stuck with champaign - I happen to not mind the hair on my chest.

I think there were about 15 people there, two of which were her friend and friend's sister visiting from Austria. As the night moved on, I noticed the friend's sister kept staring at me until finally she approached to talk. She had been hitting the jungle juice and was feeling pretty good. Was she hot?? Um, yeah!

We exchanged stories of travels and journeys and she sounded as if she'd been globe trotting for the last decade. Somewhere toward the end of the conversation (and you'll soon know why it was the end..) she looks me in the eye and says, "I've never kissed a guy before."

Reeeaaallly?????

"Nope. Only girls. Lots of girls."


*silence.*


*blank stare*
I could feel my throat dry up and caught my tongue sticking 3 feet out of my mouth.

*more silence*

Then, like a hurling stone beaning me in the head, it hit me.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Fifteen."

I'm going to repeat that: FIFFUKKINTEEN!!!!! WTF??? She was traveling on her own, drinking like a pro and talking like a 26 year old. What is wrong with this picture??

As I excused myself (politely and gently), I glanced over at my buddy who was snickering uncontrollably. He had been watching this unfold since the moment I got there and patiently waiting for the punchline. Bastard!!

In case you are wondering, she still hasn't ever kissed a guy.

Just thought I'd make that clear.