CHECK MATE

In an all too common moment of introspection not too long ago - and by not too long ago I mean within the last 20 or so minutes - I came to a self realization that I often approach dating like a chess game. Suffice it to say that this isn't necessarily always a very healthy way to approach personal relationships. But it is what it is.

I contemplate how I got to this point. When I was a teenager, matters of the heart seemed so cut and dry: someone likes someone else, they tell their best friend who tells the affection-object's best friend who tells the affection-object and the next thing you know you are making-out in a park with the biggest pair of blue balls you could possibly ever have imagined. Then you spend the next few months, if not years, in a dramatic real-life teenage version of a really bad Woody Allen movie. A few years later, being somewhat seasoned, is the college stage where the kids who didn't learn their lesson in high school make up for that lost time and the ones who lived through it are tired of it and begin their quest to get as much ass in as little time possible. Post ass-getting-college-stage, we actually start to consider things like "real-life relationships" and the whole dynamic changes because you've just spent the last several years getting ass and now applying an emotional factor into the mix takes some time and training. This is where years of trial and error occur. For some people, this trial and error occurs with the same person. Hopefully for people in that group, they can find a way to stick it out and be happy. For the rest of us, this means trial and error with different people - each of them taking a piece of us and possibly leaving us with something (preferrably something positive that's not an STD test).

The experience is a good thing. Hugh Hefner even wrote in his "Little Black Book" that people aren't ready for marriage until they are in their 30's and that even then, there's no reason to get married unless they are planning kids. I'm not sure I agree that one could generalize that much, but certainly I think that's pretty accurate for a good number of people. And Hef might be the ultimate icon of masculinity and sexuality - a modern day god - but he himself has been married multiple times, which makes him an expert or a hypocrite whichever way you want to take it.

The thing is, the real problem comes in when you realize that there isn't a balance between what you've given and what you've taken (read: learned). What's more is when you start to question whether you hit that balance a while back and just didn't recognize it or if you still have yet to hit it. You also wonder how "balanced" the people you might be interested in are. Regardless, you enter a world of calculated movement.

Let the game begin.

I move my pawn forward and call her. She calls back, moving one of her pawns. We know that each one of these moves is monumental for the rest of the game - this is where it all begins. A few more of these moves are played out like Vince Vaughn's diatribe at the beginning of Wedding Crashers. If all things go well from that, you might capture the support of her Bishops (Closest Friends) which takes things to a new level of vulnerability. After trading rooks a few times (staying at one-another's castle) you have to confront the knights (the past relationship experiences that make-up the emotional protection layer). The first person that gives up the knights is in the most vulnerable position and moving all over the board can take a long time because nobody wants to give up that position. And the game is fun enough that continuing to play is comfortable and entertaining. Until it gets boring and repetitive and one person forfeits. Or possibly things get beyond that and King and Queen live happily. Either way, it's tough to make it beyond the pawns sometimes. And sometimes someone makes a wrong move and loses the game after the first few moves. The most important thing is to get motivated enough to play the game, which i'm finding is more difficult as I get older.

Or am I?

DON'T CRY FOR ME....

Argentina...

This team brought a level of play today that I've never seen before in my lifetime - and I've watched and played a LOT of soccer. WOW!!

Speaking of Argentina.... The tentative plan is for me and at least one of my business partners to spend the month of December in Buenos Aires. We're pretty sure we have our accommodations squared away, but if anyone has any suggestions on "must see" things and/or the best place to find quality travel information, can you help a bruthah out?? I've looked up a few websites, but so far they are shite and I'm impatient at this juncture - which will change the closer to December it gets.

Ciao for now...

PARDON ME...

while I have a sexist guy moment, cause I'm a guy and that's what we do.

I present: Female Fans of the World Cup

Thank you Fox Sports!!! P.S. Are those seriously the best looking USA fans you could come up with?? Or were those stock photos from the Friday night stockcar races in Pascagoula Mississippi that you were trying to pass off?? And yes, the Brazilian fans are always the hottest - thanks for representing them well! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with myself...

SHORT PAUSE

I realize that I haven't posted in a while - my apologies. I actually had a good post idea last week, but I forgot what it was in my frustration of Blogger.

I probably won't be posting much over the next month or so because A) It's World Cup time and that takes precedence over EVERYTHING. B)It's summer and my activity level has increased about 300%. Hopefully yours has too.

Speaking of the World Cup... Did anyone see the US team get their asses pounded this morning? It was embarrassing. Granted, the Czech team is increadibly good - but they didn't even try!!!! It was like all our players were just standing around doing the bare minimum. The exciting game today was the Japan Vs. Australia game early this morning. It wasn't all that exciting until the last 10 minutes, when Australia came back from a 1-0 deficit and score 3 goals. Pretty amazing!

The Americans play again on Saturday vs. Italy. If they bring the same level that they had today, they'll get slammed again. Hopefully they can find a new level of intensity in the next 5 days.

BRIAN UNPLUGGED

If you've looked at my links at all in the last few months you've noticed and perhaps even visited the website of Ms. Annie D (aka Smart At Love). Ms. Annie D. is a psychologist and her site focuses on dating advice for single women. I enjoy reading this site for a number of reasons, the biggest being that, although I'm sure I'll never fully understand women, it helps me at least try.
I often comment giving "That Male Voice", as Ms. Annie likes to call it, that can sometimes bring a different point of view to the table.

A little while back, she asked me if I would be interested in guest writing for her weekly Wednesday guest column. I thought it would be fun, but I wasn't really sure what I would write about without becoming the enemy. I contemplated this for a long time and then realized that if I wrote anything, this was going to be a risk. So after much deliberation, I decided to put a little of myself out there to possibly give (and recieve) some insight into a part of the dating life (mentality) of a single guy my age. I think it's safe to say that it's difficult to convey the complexity of one's self or others in a snapshot short enough to be a blog post, which also made me a little nervous.

I don't often post about my dating life here unless its after the fact, and I feel like venting or reflecting. However, if you want a little glimps into a small portion of things, feel free to check out Annie's site. I'm sure it's TMI, but oh well. It's part of me. Unplugged. Exposed.