NUPTIALS FOR MODERN CULTURE

A couple of weeks ago, a buddy of mine nicknamed "Shaggy" came up with one of the most brilliant concepts I've ever heard. A revolutionary concept that could conceivably change the course of our culture indefinitely. Despite his ragtag nickname, Shaggy is quite intelligent and among his hundreds of harebrained ideas, there is a gem or two. This one has been discussed and refined a little over a few "Happy Hours" with the guys; the male opinion seems to be that this is epic. The few women polled have been quite positive to the idea too, but then I really can't vouch for the quality or intelligence level of those polled, since it was in a pub and everyone was under some level of influence. So maybe a few comments could add some further feedback. Okay, now that I've (over)pumped this up, here it is:

MARRIAGE SHOULD BE IN 5 YEAR CONTRACTS.

Think about this.




Let's face it, most marriages fail. In fact, most fail in the first 5 years. But why is this? Sure, there are many reasons- but generally it can be drawn down to a few root causes: 1)Infidelity 2)Fear of ultimate commitment 3)Miscommunication and resulting perceived pressure on making the marriage work.

Tackling each one of these briefly -

Infidelity - Some people are just plain cheaters - always have been and always will be. There is nothing you can do about that except a little revenge (see last post). Others can be drawn into it out of fear of eternal monogamy. As illustrated by Frank the Tank in the movie Old School: "What I'm trying to say is... Its hard for me to imagine that I'm only going to have sex with, you know, only one person *nod,nod* for the rest of my life." What if that pressure was taken away? Is it possible that the paradigm shift would be to where people didn't find this a problem, but a privilege?

Fear of ultimate commitment - This overlaps a little with infidelity, but there are fundamental differences as well. Many people often worry about long term care and nurturing of a relationship: "How in the world can I take care of someone else and nurture a relationship for the REST OF MY LIFE, when I can't even take care of my own laundry?" What if you could remove that fear?

Miscommunication and perceived pressures - When your spouse is raging angry and flipping out over minor things, because he or she has been stressed - it can be hard not to think to yourself- "I've signed on to this shit for the rest of my entire life? Run Forest, Run!" What about when you think to yourself, "My grandparents made it 55 years, and they are the best of friends - how am I going to make that happen? This person is driving me crazy and its only been 6 months!" What if you could eliminate those ideas because the pressure isn't there? Would it be easier to understand your partner and be tolerant of their rants and raves? And, our grandparents lived in a different time - As Tom Brokaw put it "The Greatest Generation". The variables were much different then. Most notably, social definition. Today, we have very little of that and we hardly stand a chance at making things work in modern relationships. What if a simple adjustment - modernizing our view on marriage and commitment would fit better into modern culture?

Again, I think the concept is brilliant. I wish I would have thought of it about 7 years ago!

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE

My buddy sent me THIS LINK About this poor guy who caught his live-in girlfriend sleeping with her boss. He took appropriate action with his revenge. Its always important to keep in mind that there are consequences to everything.

IF ONLY I HAD THE TIME

My dog is great and low maintenance (I think I've already mentioned that, maybe). However, I've always wanted to have an exotic pet. I love lions and tigers and bears (oh my!)but lets face it - they just aren't a practical buddy. I have, however known a couple of people who own kangaroos as pets and think they are great. Me, I think a PENGUIN would be so cool!!
I'm surprised, though, that this company actually exists. I would have thought PETA would have a fit on this one! I don't really have the time to take care of a penguin, but if you get one - please invite me over and I'll "penguin-sit" any time you need.

LOST MY VOTE!!

Obviously, I love Texas. And Houston isn't so bad either. I voted for the new mayor and honestly he's a pretty decent guy, but THIS is a bummer! Dude, stop pickin' on the porn! Some people need all the help they can get!!!!

FEED ME, PET ME

My dog is my child, much lower maintenance than a child albeit, but she really is my family. When she's sick or hurt, I hurt with her - When she's depressed, I'm depressed too and when she wags her tail, mine wags with her. She's my best buddy. Having said all of that, there really are some over-the-top things people will buy and do for their hounds. Like this CELL PHONE FOR PETS.

In "toon town", this would be the scenario: "Scruffs, look! I got you your own cell phone!" Scruffs' thoughts *wagging tail*: "Hope you just upped your minutes pal, because I'm now going to be the busiest whore/crack-dealer dog in the neighborhood!! Those stupid alley-cats that gang up and chase me around will have nothin' on me!!!! Dad, you've got no idea what you've just done!!!!!"

In the "Real World" : "Scruffs, look! I got you your own cell phone!"
Scruffs' thoughts *hanging tail, ears cocked back*: "And you think I'm going to answer, you fool? I don't listen to you now, what makes you think I'm going to listen to box on my collar? Wow, what a waste of money - you could have bought me so many stuffed animals to rip up with that money! Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me!!"

My Grandmother would buy this for her Max, but she wouldn't be able to figure out how to use it.

HELL ON WHEELS

This almost sounds like something me and my punk ass friends
would have done when we were 11. I'm glad we were able to
restrain ourselves!!!! KIDDIE HIJACKERS

BRAIN EXERCISE

I love puzzles, check these out: LOGICS

BARTENDER, GIVE ME A BEER - MAKE IT TOP-SHELF

This quote from a column by Streeter Seidell titled “People You Hate XXVII”:

"Reader Jeff H. of UT, San Antonio really hates: Mr. “I Paid 16.99 for a 18pk of Horse Piss in a Can." Hey, nobody gives a shit how much you paid for your beer. Just because you pay more and don't know how to shop for beer that tastes good and costs less, doesn't make you any better then me. You're the one that walks around the party, parading your beer box around like you want everyone to know that you paid too much for your beer; you know who you are! You're the one that makes us have to put up with those fucking Bud Light commercials. Here's to you, Mr. “I buy a beer because it costs more money than most can afford." That should be the next commercial; did I already say I hate you? If you would stop buying all that crap, I wouldn't have to watch a Rolling Rock, Bud Light, or Heineken commercial every 3 minutes. I can buy two sixers of Lone Star Light Tallboys for 6 bucks; what do you say to that? Not only am I gonna have 16 beers, but I've only spent like, $6.47 (including tax) and I'm gonna enjoy it. Wake up and realize I hate you, and I hate your expensive beer!"

Now, I'm all about the Lone Star Light for pennies - because it really is a good beer and the price makes it better - and yeah, the guys he's referring to are a bit annoying, but not half as annoying as the guy who brings a sixer (minus 1) of Keystone light and puts it in the fridge where he grabs a Corona each for himself and his girlfriend. At the end of the night, they have both downed 6-8 Coronas and the 5 Keystones are still chilling in the fridge. As they are leaving they grab the 5 pack to take with them. Oh, and I wouldn't exactly call Bud Light an expensive beer, but then again - its been a while since I was a starving student, so the perspective might be little different.

STUCK IN MY HEAD.........

NO TIME TO POST MUCH TODAY, BUT I'VE HAD THIS SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL DAY - FOR NO APPARENT REASON. TEXAS MUSIC GUYS DON'T TYPICALLY PLAY ANY COVER TUNES, BUT THIS ONE HAS BEEN DONE A LOT LATELY:

Ryan Adams :: Come Pick Me Up

When they call your name
Will you walk right up?
With a smile on your face?
Or will you cower in fear
In your favorite sweater
With an old love letter?
I wish you would
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They’re all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
When you’re walking downtown
Do you wish I was there?
Do you wish it was me?
With the windows clear and the mannequins eyes
Do they all look like mine?
You know you could
I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends behind my back
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
I wish you would
I wish you’d make up my bed
So I could make up my mind
Try it for sleeping instead
Maybe you’ll rest sometime
I wish I could

PIRATED THIS POST IDEA FROM LISSA ANN

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists. Intrapersonal 79% Musical/Rhythmic 75% Visual/Spatial 68% Bodily/Kinesthetic 68% Verbal/Linguistic 64% Interpersonal 61% Logical/Mathematical 46% The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

IF YOU LIKE BROWNIES

Don't ever get your recipe from the US Gov't. I would be interested to find out how much money went into creating THIS recipe.

ONE GIANT PLANE!!

I've been hearing about the Airbus A380 for a while, but never seen pictures. One word: GIANT!!! CHECK OUT THESE PICTURES

FINDERS KEEPERS?

Whatever happened to common decency with regard to people's possessions with sentimental value? THIS guy seems to not know or not care, one or the other.

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED...........

If I had the choice between having increadible good looks and only marginal intelligence, or being quite less than attractive with a brilliant and creative brain, what would I choose.... I never did have the choice, obviously because I'm not close to either. However, I would probably choose the later. Afterall, even Bill Gates gets laid.

Anyway, I consider myself to be a dork sometimes - but THESE GUYS really take the cake!!!!!!

Sidenote - Yes, I know I'm a little happy with the hyperlinks today, but I just taught myself how to do it and I'm pretty proud of me-self.

ITS TOO BAD PEOPLE INSIST ON TRYING TO SHELTER KIDS

Levels of people trying to shelter kids from the realities of the world is reaching fever pitch. Kids are better off knowing the TRUTH.......

ITS INTERESTING TO GET THE PERSPECTIVE FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTER

THIS FROM A GUY WHO WORKS AT QUIZNO'S...........CLICK HERE

I REALLY HOPE I DON'T LOOK LIKE MY MUTT!!!

CHECK OUT
THIS SITE.........

I'll keep trying

A new friend of mine (I met through blogging) has inspired me to try to continue doing this. My Myers-Briggs personality is INTP. So I'm really bad at sticking with something that requires much maintenance. I really hate this about myself but make efforts to change it. I used to think that the Myers-Briggs personality test would change depending on my mood (I'm a Gemini, what can I say?), but I've taken the full test a few times, each in different moods and I always am the same.

Anyhow, I'm going to attempt to keep this up - maybe with a focus on Texas music and girls, my two favorite subjects. Yeah, thats what I need - FOCUS!

MID-WINTER DRYSPELL

Over some drinks last night, my single buddies and I discussed the "Mid-Winter Dryspell" phenomena. This is when, due to the time of year, it seems meeting women is most difficult. Its nobody's fault, really - just the way the cycle is. It seems like from November 30 to February 14th all of the women "have a boyfriend". The ones who don't, are usually either on a major re-bound, or are emotionally unstable. I'm sure there are quality girls to date during this period, but they are REALLY hard to find. I'm ready for summer!!!!!

Napoleon Dyanamite
(Please rate my quiz)


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
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AND SO IT BEGINS........

I knew I was in trouble when I was given an iPod - and became obsessed with it. Generally speaking, I'm pretty slow to get up to speed with technology - I don't think I've had my first DVD player for even a year. But here I am creating a blog... Maybe it'll force me to be more "documentary" - If I died tomorrow, people would have a hard time constructing large stretches of my life. Well actually, I often have trouble re-constructing large stretches of my life, but thats a whole other story.