Monday, January 31, 2005


A couple of weeks ago, a buddy of mine nicknamed "Shaggy" came up with one of the most brilliant concepts I've ever heard. A revolutionary concept that could conceivably change the course of our culture indefinitely. Despite his ragtag nickname, Shaggy is quite intelligent and among his hundreds of harebrained ideas, there is a gem or two. This one has been discussed and refined a little over a few "Happy Hours" with the guys; the male opinion seems to be that this is epic. The few women polled have been quite positive to the idea too, but then I really can't vouch for the quality or intelligence level of those polled, since it was in a pub and everyone was under some level of influence. So maybe a few comments could add some further feedback. Okay, now that I've (over)pumped this up, here it is:


Think about this.

Let's face it, most marriages fail. In fact, most fail in the first 5 years. But why is this? Sure, there are many reasons- but generally it can be drawn down to a few root causes: 1)Infidelity 2)Fear of ultimate commitment 3)Miscommunication and resulting perceived pressure on making the marriage work.

Tackling each one of these briefly -

Infidelity - Some people are just plain cheaters - always have been and always will be. There is nothing you can do about that except a little revenge (see last post). Others can be drawn into it out of fear of eternal monogamy. As illustrated by Frank the Tank in the movie Old School: "What I'm trying to say is... Its hard for me to imagine that I'm only going to have sex with, you know, only one person *nod,nod* for the rest of my life." What if that pressure was taken away? Is it possible that the paradigm shift would be to where people didn't find this a problem, but a privilege?

Fear of ultimate commitment - This overlaps a little with infidelity, but there are fundamental differences as well. Many people often worry about long term care and nurturing of a relationship: "How in the world can I take care of someone else and nurture a relationship for the REST OF MY LIFE, when I can't even take care of my own laundry?" What if you could remove that fear?

Miscommunication and perceived pressures - When your spouse is raging angry and flipping out over minor things, because he or she has been stressed - it can be hard not to think to yourself- "I've signed on to this shit for the rest of my entire life? Run Forest, Run!" What about when you think to yourself, "My grandparents made it 55 years, and they are the best of friends - how am I going to make that happen? This person is driving me crazy and its only been 6 months!" What if you could eliminate those ideas because the pressure isn't there? Would it be easier to understand your partner and be tolerant of their rants and raves? And, our grandparents lived in a different time - As Tom Brokaw put it "The Greatest Generation". The variables were much different then. Most notably, social definition. Today, we have very little of that and we hardly stand a chance at making things work in modern relationships. What if a simple adjustment - modernizing our view on marriage and commitment would fit better into modern culture?

Again, I think the concept is brilliant. I wish I would have thought of it about 7 years ago!