THE BLACK AND WHITE DAYS

When I was a little guy, and I'd see pictures or film from my parents' childhood, I'd comment that they were from "The Black and White Days" because there was no color. I didn't realize that it was simply the technology and insisted that at some point, perhaps in the 60's, somebody introduced color to the world. No, I don't mean color photo processing, I mean color to the REAL world. Before that, people just lived in black, white and their varying shades. I think they got a kick out of that, but didn't really want to be associated with older movies - from, you know, The Black and White Days.

My birthday is this weekend and although I'm never really all that excited about getting older, I think I have finally come to terms with it. After all, there's no stopping it. And as I (we) age, technology continues to surpass itself both growing (improving) and aging simultaneously. Can we grow and improve with it?

I recall being around 10 and my parents gave my grandparents an answering machine for their telephone. My grandparents, in their mid 60's, had a hell of a time figuring out how to use this fine modern machine despite my frequent tutoring sessions. A call to their house in their absence would usually be a humorous experience with the answering machine sputtering out a half recorded outgoing message that was obviously made in utter frustration. The VCR we gave them a year or two later was just as frustrating for them to figure out. I actually felt bad for the battered remote control.

My parents are a little more technologically savvy, having laptops and digital cameras. But I can't help but smirk watching them look through bifocals trying to navigate the neverending features, often frustrated. That is, until I see a teenage kid punching out HTML code (and other difficult computer lit things) as if he's been doing it since he was in the first grade. Mostly, because he probably HAS been doing it since he was in the first grade- but also because I realize that I'm not so far off from fumbling with (ever advancing) modern technology the way my parents do and my grandparents did. Any changes to this very website are a major undertaking for me. When I was in high school, to have a 386processor with 4MB of hard drive was not only an expensive venture, but a modern marvel at that.

This makes me ponder what technology will be like if I ever have kids. Will they say, "Dad. Wow! You grew up in the VCR Days!!" or "You grew up in the One Dimensional Days!"? Who knows. But it's one more step toward senility for me. Did I mention that I'm okay with that?


*side note: Spell check didn't recognize VCR! Scary!

BOOKS!

I recieved a package on Monday from dear old mom. Apparently she decided to have a hayday at the bookstore because it contained a stack of new books. I'm not complaining because to be honest, I've been on a streak of bad books lately and needed some new inspiration. Among the action/mystery novels that I tend to gravitate toward, was this random book titled "The Time Traveler's Wife". I scanned the cover for a briefing and thought to myself "Dear God, she didn't really send me some freakin' Wuthering Heights crap, did she??". So yesterday, while waiting for some people to call me back, I picked it up to at least give it a try. After an hour and 50 pages, I realized that I was hooked. It's nothing like I originally thought (my mom never lets me down- one of the many reasons she's so great). By that time, people were waiting on me to hit some after-work cocktails and as I was out, I realized that I was zoning - thinking about the new book. Why?

A tap on my shoulder.

"Hey! I'm Meagan! I noticed you were staring at my friend and I think she thinks you're kinda cute, wanna meet her?"

"Um. Uh. I. Huh? Wha? I was staring?"

"Yeah! You've been staring at her for like 10 minutes straight. It actually was kinda freaking me out, but she thought it was funny."

"I'm sorry - I must be lost in space."

"Okay, well, whatever - we'll be over here if you want to come over and say 'hi'. Wait, you already knew that because you were STARING!!"

Did I go over there? No. Why? Because I'm the dazing idiot that would rather sit at the bar thinking about a stupid book instead of talking to attractive girls. Why am I single again? Idiot.

Thanks Ma!

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

It's not until your assistant is out of the office on vacation that you truely realize how important she really is. Mine's getting a raise - really soon!!

A LITTLE TIME TO KILL

So it's not really exactly an update, but I was tagged by Jacynth LeMaistre (If that's not one of the coolest names on the face of the earth, I don't know what is). She created this meme and who am I not to participate???

1. If you could live in another era, what would it be?
I would live in 18^th Century Europe. Those were the days. Music was full and revolutionary. Art was evolving far beyond religion. Advances in human science and engineering were budding. I’m not much of a musician, artist or scientist – but I could have come up with some kind of breath mint that would have made me a millionaire because damn – before toothpaste and dentists – those folks had to be sporting some nasty breath.

2. If you got paid $200 million per year, would you be an Alaskan crab fisher (keep in mind this is one of the deadliest jobs)?
Hell yeah!!! Don’t forget, I was a boat captain and a firefighter – I get off on this shit. I love the sea and have fond memories of days with 15 foot waves. Having said that, don’t ever take me to a ledge or cliff and ask me to look down (without a railing). Just thinking about heights makes me shiver with fear.

3. Did you eat glue as a child?
No, but I really loved taking a hand-full of rubber cement and making it into a bouncy ball. So much so that I’m sure I cost the school district an extra $100 per year in rubber cement throughout my elementary career.

4. If you could be in a movie, what would it be and why?
It would be Charlie in The Italian Job. Where else does a good guy get to rob and pilfer all over the world with his best buddies, become a millionaire AND get the girl without going to jail? All the while, everyone is cheering him on. In a perfect world, that’s where.

5. If you could set up your own mafia ring, what would you call it?
I Compagni

6. If you had the choice between meeting David Hasselhoff or Tom Cruise, who would you choose and why?
Is this a trick question?? It sounds like a trick question. Do I have to answer trick questions? I hate trick questions. I think it’s a trick question. Next?

7. Would you ever fly Hooters airlines?
”Team America… Fuck Yeah!!!”

8. Would you rather hear no evil or see no evil?
I can’t hear much anyway, so I’ve already somewhat adapted to that. Sight is my most coveted sense. Capisca?

9. If you started a search engine, what would you name it?
Chunks. Which is what I want to name a dog. That way I can have my own little laugh every time someone says “Oh my God, I was so sick that I blew chunks!!”

10. If you had the ability to see five years into the future, would you do it?
Are you kidding me?? Have you seen The Butterfly Effect? Back to the Future? Any time you fuck with the time/space continuum, you fuck everything else up. Not cool! Not cool at all!!!

APOLOGIES

Sorry I haven't had a chance to update in a while......

Lots going on. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a good update.