Friday, May 05, 2006


So it's not really exactly an update, but I was tagged by Jacynth LeMaistre (If that's not one of the coolest names on the face of the earth, I don't know what is). She created this meme and who am I not to participate???

1. If you could live in another era, what would it be?
I would live in 18th Century Europe. Those were the days. Music was full and revolutionary. Art was evolving far beyond religion. Advances in human science and engineering were budding. I’m not much of a musician, artist or scientist – but I could have come up with some kind of breath mint that would have made me a millionaire because damn – before toothpaste and dentists – those folks had to be sporting some nasty breath.

2. If you got paid $200 million per year, would you be an Alaskan crab fisher (keep in mind this is one of the deadliest jobs)?
Hell yeah!!! Don’t forget, I was a boat captain and a firefighter – I get off on this shit. I love the sea and have fond memories of days with 15 foot waves. Having said that, don’t ever take me to a ledge or cliff and ask me to look down (without a railing). Just thinking about heights makes me shiver with fear.

3. Did you eat glue as a child?
No, but I really loved taking a hand-full of rubber cement and making it into a bouncy ball. So much so that I’m sure I cost the school district an extra $100 per year in rubber cement throughout my elementary career.

4. If you could be in a movie, what would it be and why?

It would be Charlie in The Italian Job. Where else does a good guy get to rob and pilfer all over the world with his best buddies, become a millionaire AND get the girl without going to jail? All the while, everyone is cheering him on. In a perfect world, that’s where.

5. If you could set up your own mafia ring, what would you call it?

I Compagni

6. If you had the choice between meeting David Hasselhoff or Tom Cruise, who would you choose and why?
Is this a trick question?? It sounds like a trick question. Do I have to answer trick questions? I hate trick questions. I think it’s a trick question. Next?

7. Would you ever fly Hooters airlines?

”Team America… Fuck Yeah!!!”

8. Would you rather hear no evil or see no evil?

I can’t hear much anyway, so I’ve already somewhat adapted to that. Sight is my most coveted sense. Capisca?

9. If you started a search engine, what would you name it?

Chunks. Which is what I want to name a dog. That way I can have my own little laugh every time someone says “Oh my God, I was so sick that I blew chunks!!”

10. If you had the ability to see five years into the future, would you do it?
Are you kidding me?? Have you seen The Butterfly Effect? Back to the Future? Any time you fuck with the time/space continuum, you fuck everything else up. Not cool! Not cool at all!!!