POST-PARTY DEPRESSION

Well, not really. I didn't even drink all that much this weekend. Went out Friday night to some clubs and did it up pretty good. Saturday night did a repeat, only I didn't drink so much and Sunday, same thing, only drank even less. Nothing to drink yesterday. So, why am I so melancholy? Because I spent much of the time at clubs. I may have mentioned I don't really like clubs. No, I REALLY don't like clubs. However, most of my friends do - so I get stuck sometimes. Why don't I like clubs?

1)I've never been to a club with LIVE music, and I love live music. Most of them have DJs and although I can get along with the music - I still like my live stuff. This weekend I watched people stand in line for over an hour to pay $40 cover in order to hear a certain DJ "Spin". WTF????? I refuse. Besides, what makes a certain DJ "outstanding"?? They don't even write the fuckin music??? They just mix it together. I was a DJ in high school - I know how and there really isn't any true talent involved. I'll tell you what it is - HYPE!!!! Of the worst kind. Learn to play a guitar or the drums, asshole. Then I MIGHT consider spending $15 to see you play (for $40 you better have won a grammy or two). Until then, fuck off.

2)Back to the lines. I don't stand in a line to get into your establishment unless it is a concert, where its just a formality. Granted, I haven't had to stand in any lines here because we always seem to be on "the list", but that's beside the point because once you are in, the result of lines is the same. Lines at clubs mean that you are going to struggle to move around- much less dance, wait 30 minutes to order drinks at the bar (at which time every last person that conveniently claims to "know you" has asked you to grab them something - running into a triple digit tab, but even worse is just trying to remember it all. Was it a manderine & tonic and Skyy & soda? or manderine & soda, Skyy & tonic??), and inevitably get one or more drinks spilled on you whenever you try to move from your sardine-like space. I'm polite and say "excuse-me", which gets fucking old after the 80th time in the 30 feet between the bar and the restroom. So until you can reduce that figure by at least 10 times, Fuck off! Oh and you assholes that ask me to grab you a drink, but never seem to be anywhere near the bar, you can fuck off too.


3)Drugs. I don't do the drug thing. Yes, I have before. Lots before. But that was long in the past and although I don't have anything against them, I really don't want to be around it, nor do I want to be around people who turn up their noses at me because I don't. I have intentionally always surrounded myself with people who don't party like that very often, if at all. So, until you can learn to have a good time without coke, speed or E, Fuck off!!

4) Your a dick, bartender. It seems bartenders at clubs are always pricks. I can sort of understand though, you have 25 people simultaneously competing for your attention only to be jackasses and waste your time. It would be hard to be patient. But when you come across someone like me, who is respectful and empathetic to your chaos, extend me some fucking courtesy -even if its a quick "Thanks, man" -because I just gave you a 30% tip (on grossely over priced drinks) that you didn't even come close to earning. So until you can be cool and more attentive to MY MFing needs, Fuck off!

Bottom line is, I'm going to start hanging out where I want to hang out. This will probably mean me starting to go out here in SD by myself, but I have had the most fun doing that anyway. There are some kick ass places around here (even within walking distance from the house) that have live music, cool bartenders, down-to-earth women, and most importantly - NO LINES (people, powder or otherwise).

So if anyone is down for hanging with me at the cool places, I'm right here. If you want to go to a club. Fuck off!