LONESTAR STATE OF MIND

What's up?

2007-04-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, the whole blogger/google interface thing hasn't made it all the easy to be motivated to post. Okay, that's just an excuse. Kind of.

Life is good. I think I'm finally happier here in San Diego than I have been since I moved here. I still miss Texas - and always will, but things are really clicking.

Upcoming things: Repainting each room in the house - started last night. Will take pics when finished. Friends visiting in May. Family fishing trip in June with dad,bros, uncles and gramps. Speaking of Uncles - I'll be one for the first time in June. Phew! I think my mom was beginning to think she'd never get any grandkids. Texas in August? I don't know. Maybe NYC in August instead. That's still a little far out.

At any rate - I can't wait for summer! It's just about full-time beach weather and I'm ready.

I'M ALIVE AND WELL!!!!

2007-03-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I've been neglectful. I got an email from Sandra yesterday and it prompted me to look at my site for the first time in a while. I guess I've just been so busy and preoccupied that I forgot about checking back here. Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten about all of you - just the blog itself. I'm going to try and get back to writing more.

As for some of you, I know that many of you have moved sites and I don't know the new addresses, so if have moved - drop me a quick line and let me know where I can find you.

As for me, I'm still living it up in sunny San Diego. Working hard and starting to warm back up to the dating scene.

Hope y'all are also doing well. I'll be getting around to checking on your sites here in the next day or so.

Drop me a line!!

SHORT UPDATE

2006-12-20T15:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays everyone!!!! It's been a busy few weeks for me and I'm sure that goes for most people.

I'm headed to Montana for the holidays on Friday and although I'm excited about the trip, not so much for the cold. But oh well.

I'll try and take some time on my vacation for some good updated posts...

Till then, hope everyone is safe and in great health!!! And that santa is good to everyone too!

A MONTH?? SERIOUSLY??

2006-11-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a month already since my last post! Where did October go?

Thanks for all your great comments in the last one and the great positive encouragement.

Not much has changed, unfortunately. And to be completely honest, I've spent most of the last few weeks just trying to pull myself out of depression. Why depressed? I'd like to say that the funk has a lot to do with the girl - but in all honesty, it's the other things in my life that I'm unhappy with which make working on/toward a strong relationship a struggle. Perhaps I've focused too much on it and neglected focusing on the core problems in my life.

My dad came to visit over the weekend, which I had really been looking forward to for about a month. It was great having him here and great having the chance to discuss my life's challenges with someone who provides unconditional love, encouragement and advice without an agenda.

I feel a bit more focused now and I'm looking forward to finally feeling back to normal again. Whewww! I don't think I've felt so down about life in over a decade! Enough of that! Not fun!!

Thanks again for sticking around here everyone!

IN A FUNK

2006-10-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah. I know. I've been a lame ass for not posting much. Don't worry. It's not you. I've been a lame ass pretty much all the way around. That's right - I'm in a funk.

I'd like to say that this happens to me pretty much every fall and every spring. It's a seasonal disorder. But this year, I think I have some pretty legitimate things that have put me here (or I like to feel sorry for myself).

I've been reluctant to write much about the things that are bothering me lately for a couple of reasons. The first reason is because although I like to whine sometimes (mostly for comedic license) I'm really not that much of a complainer. Another reason is that I tend to be closed about my feelings and thoughts to the general population because, well, I'm a guy and that's genetically coded in most of our brains. The final major reason is because my life is fast paced in a slow motion way. Kind of like one of those flip books where the image doesn't change much over many pages but then all of the sudden changes dramatically over just a few pages. What can I say, I'm a freakin' cartoon character.

But for the sake of entertainment (at least for myself) I'll blather a little about what's up. As with most people, it really just boils down to two things. Career and love life.

I'll start with love life.

It may surprise some of you to know that I have been dating someone "off and on" for almost 4 months now. I say "off and on" because for the first month or so, it was the "We're not committed because we're taking this slow" period which, in all reality, was just our way of pretending we weren't crazy about each other while we spent almost every available hour together. Eventually, in an intimate and drunken exchange the "L" word pops out. Of both of us. Not too long after, I did what I always do and started to plot my escape from the sure doom of being emotionally attached to someone.

Before any girls reading this decide I'm scum and plot to sabotage my computer with an electronic equivalent to the herpes virus, I'll explain why I do this. 1) I'm a very loyal person. I don't make many promises because the promises I do make, I keep. I've never cheated. I never will. But I won't make a promise to be in a committed relationship with someone when my eye is wandering as well. 2) I'm very independent. When I do commit to a relationship, it's no longer an "I", it's a "We". Which isn't to say that two people in a relationship can't be independent - as far as I'm concerned that's vital to any healthy relationship - it's more that you do have to consider another person and their feelings in all choices made. Most of the time, this freaks me out a little. 3) Being in love with someone means that inevitably, certain decisions I make will be emotionally driven. That's not how I normally roll. Even though I recognize that it's the nature of the beast, I'm not comfortable with it and often make the wrong decisions.

Moving on with the story, I sabotaged things and in the process crushed her. Not cool. Not cool at all. NO,NO,NO - I didn't go out and hook up with someone else or anything like that. I just capitalized on something she did that really angered me and took the opportunity to be cold and callous and pretty much walk away without much of a discussion. I then tried for the next 4 days to get her out of my head. Where this might normally work for me, the problem was that this time it didn't. I couldn't get her out of my head, no matter how much I tried. I finally called her to meet up with me to talk. She did. But in my emotionally mixed up mind, I really didn't know what my objective for the conversation would be. To try and patch things up? Try to just explain why I ended things so abruptly? Just to see her again? I didn't know. And unfortunately, by the time we actually got deep into the conversation, I was several beers into the night and talking in circles due to lack of objective. Yes, that's me. I'm an idiot. I was leaving on vacation early the next morning and I figured it would be a good time to sit on things and collect my thoughts a little, as I'm sure she felt the same. We could talk again when I returned.

When I arrived back in SD, I returned a call from her as soon as I hit baggage claim. My hopes were high that we'd be able to get back to working on something and I think her's were too. We immediately tried to jump back into things but neither of us really anticipated how complicated this was going to be. I mean, really - I had hurt her. Bad. Which immediately makes her skiddish about letting down the wall again, even if she wants to. Pretty understandable. Pretty complex.

At the end of the day, you have two people who really care about one another, don't want to call it quits, try to be independent and still a unit, are very stubborn, are very caring, love each other but can't stand each other and both contribute to what has become a bipolar relationship.

This brings me to what's really been eating at me for several weeks now. Is it possible to pull this back into more of a healthy relationship? Do I really know how? I've chosen to not be in a relationship for a very long time and now that I've found one that I want to be in, do I really have the tools to make it work? Is this doomed because of such a rocky start?

To all of those questions, I can come to only one conclusion: I don't have the foggiest of ideas.

And I'm usually pretty great at solving problems.

Damn emotional decisions.

So that's the shape of things here. As for the career side of things, I'm a little warn out from writing this so maybe I'll tackle that one tomorrow...

Cheers!

MUST SEE TV IS BACK

2006-09-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

I hate the end of summer. Summer is my season. Nothing is wrong when it's summer. For most of my adult life I've lived in places where it's basically perpetually summer - the Caribbean, South Florida, Texas and San Diego. Eventhough I haven't lived north of I-10 in over 12 years, and seasons don't change much you can't escape that time moves on and seasons are less weather related and steered more by social timing (holidays, school year, travel times, etc.).

I have to find ways to cope.

One of the things that helps me is the fall return of all my favorite shows. Thursday evenings being the jewel. If I'm going to hang out on Thursday nights - it comes after my shows are finished. My brief thoughts on the shows I watched last night:

MY NAME IS EARL- Not the funniest episode to date, but decent. Earl is a staple - you know what to expect and you'll always get some good laughs. Hopefully the writing will be better as the season gets going.

THE OFFICE - This was the funniest Office episode yet!! This show is so uncomfortably funny and I think the cast makes it. Whomever it was that cast the show deserves an emmy.

GREY'S ANATOMY - Everything I expected from the first show of the season. This show's success can be heavily attributed to it's music. Having said that, the acting and writing are both great as well. However, ER once had great writing and acting, but not the music. ER was never as good. I thought they did a good job at addressing everything that was left hanging from last season. That doesn't always happen.

SIX DEGREES - This was a pilot for a new series where everyone's lives mesh together eventhough they may not know each other (hence the name referencing the six degrees of separation theory). All I can say is, "eh". It was OK. Not great. Acting was good, but it just didn't seem to go anywhere or keep my attention. Ironically, one of the secondary characters is a girl I went to high school with (Sarah Vowell)- so that was interesting.

MELANCHOLY

2006-09-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

I'm still not ready to talk about the Texas loss to Ohio State on Saturday. So don't even ask.

I do, however, feel it appropriate to maybe write a little something about 9/11. I figured I'd post about that day 5 years ago today.

I was driving to work in Houston, listening to NPR when they interrupted Morning Edition to report that a small plane had crashed into the WTC. The initial report indicated that it appeared to be a single engine, but possibly a dual engine prop plane. "Wow!" I thought to myself, "Had to be a suicide thing." They resumed Morning Edition and I arrived at work.

A few people mentioned hearing about it and we clucked about the possible causes for a few minutes before starting the day of work. The day of work was interrupted 30 minutes or so later when my assistant came running into my office screaming, "We're under attack!! We're under attack!!!"

She was so hysterical that I didn't even bother trying to get details out of her. Instead, I turned on the radio in my office and listened to the drama unfold. When the radio announcer, who was reporting from Manhattan, started screaming that the first tower was collapsing, I didn't believe it. I thought to myself, "Maybe just a couple of floors on the top. Surely this is just a case of another reporter sensationalizing the situation - as they do."

Then I saw the pictures.

Then I saw the footage.

As I watched, the tears streamed down my face. I thought about the confusion. I thought about the desperation. I thought about the way that this incident would forever change our country and way of life.

I was a part-time firefighter at the time, running a small department in suburban Houston. This all hit too close to home. In the footage of the collapse, I was seeing and hearing sounds that perhaps most people missed if they'd never worked as a firefighter on a working scene. Distress alarms and panicked radio traffic. These sounds send the hair on the back of your neck standing straight up and induce flushing cold sweats. Helpless. Hopeless.

It's been 5 years - which apparently is the end of the "Grace Period" where entertainment executives feel it's appropriate that they can start capitalizing on the entertainment value. I'm not ready to indulge them. I also won't indulge the conspiracy theorists and political activists who like to stir the pot and point fingers. Especially when they like to use phrases like, "This is all 'Fact'. You make your own decisions." Yeah asshole, anyone can present 'Fact' and still spin it to make the point they're trying to make. I learned that in 8th grade debate class. Fuck you. It was a tragedy. That's all that matters.

Where were you?

WORD TO THE WISE(MEN)

2006-09-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

When a female prefaces something with, "I know this might sound a little bitchy," take the following action immediately:

1) Take one hand and cover your throat.
2) Take the other hand and cover your nuts.
3) Turn sideways

You're about to be served one of the most scathing and hurtful insults you have ever been dealt. Sure, she might pepper the ensuing statement with sugar coated words that gently disguise it - but make no mistake: She's got a dagger in her hand and she's aiming to slash your throat and cut off your wedding tackle.

That is all.

MY HYPOCRISY HOLDS NO BOUNDS

2006-08-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

I get frustrated when bloggers who's sites I like to visit don't update daily....

Seriously though, I think about things to write every single day. Then I get dissuaded by my own ego and sense of responsibility to others' feelings. Or perhaps it's just my paranoia. I remember a time on here where I felt pretty free to write whatever was on my mind. In recent months (maybe longer) I've felt like I must censor myself, which makes it difficult to fully express myself. Also, I've always tried to keep things pretty lighthearted here - so I might rant sometimes, but really about nothing. Anyhow, to try and get back to some roots - here are some things I've been pondering:

In recent introspection I realized that one of my biggest issues is that I often have a hard time holding my tongue when something is really bothering me. I don't hold things inside usually and I don't explode and yell - ever (except as a last resort). Really, what I do can be much worse. My eyes get icy, my body language cold and my voice timbre changes to intimidate. Everyone I know that's been on the recieving end of that says they'd rather I just yell. But that's not me. Somewhere along the way - perhaps from my mother - I developed this way of making someone who has wronged me feel like an intruder in a lion's den. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Not too long ago, after a few years of guarding myself and generally keeping all women at arm's length or more, I actually started opening up to one (as much as I possibly can - which is in very small doses). I've been told by many people - mostly women- that if I'm ever going to even attempt to be in a healthy relationship, I need to begin the relationship being really upfront and honest. So I was (as much as I'm currently capable). I think I really hurt her feelings. Bad. I also think that it raised some red-flags for her. Understandably so. So much for being proactively upfront and honest. Oh well, I still think I'm growing in this area every day. Someday I might even be able to have a real grown-up relationship. Someday.

On a positive note: I've spent a great portion of the summer enjoying the simpler things and feel generally pretty high on life. Reading, sunshine, food, wine, beer, beach, friends, baseball, etc . I go through phases where I lose sight of what really makes me happy and what's important. It's nice to reset the brain on what life is really all about. Now if I could just figure out quantum physics - I'd rule the world...

[ed note: The writer often exaggerates for dramatic effect.]

FILLER MEME

2006-08-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I just got back from a 10 day trip and although I have plenty to write about, I'm not going to today. Instead, I'm going to skive a meme from Sandra:

last thing you burned while cooking?
People still have time to cook? Actually I cook 4 to 5 nights a week, and at risk of sounding like I’m bragging, I’m pretty good at it and can’t remember the last time I burned something.

describe yourself in 3 words?
I’m a Gemini, so I get 6 words: bold/shy, cold/hot, intelligent/ignorant.

how long does it take you to get ready for your day?
22 minutes – like clockwork.

are you a health freak?
Nope. I’m pretty open to most foods though – so I often end up liking things that just happen to be healthy as well. That is, until a week or two later when Harvard, Case or some other prestigious medical school comes out with a study that says that whatever it was that you thought was healthy really isn’t and what you thought wasn’t healthy really is – then I realize that it’s all a pretty relative concept.

how many people have thought you were the one?
I’d say at least 6 or 7. But really the question should be, “How many psychos have you dated?”

what turns you off about the opposite sex?
No self identity. Failure to consider the world outside of dating, hair and nails.

what kind of car do you drive?
Toyota 4Runner!

favorite thing to toast to?
Me!! Actually, I like toasting to anything that I’m feeling in my heart – which may change depending on how many drinks I’ve had.

what celebrity would you have coffee with?
Warren Buffet

what celebrity would you not have sex with?
Rosie O’Donnell (if she was straight), Starr Jones and Kiera Knightly. Okay, I’m lying about Keira Knightly.

what is the main ringtone on your cell?
A doorbell.

what were you doing at midnight last night?
Answering a phone call while being awakened from a dead sleep.

last tv show you watched?
Rescue Me. Freakin’ hilarious!

who is your best friend?
All of them.

who in your family do you get along with?
Fundamentally everyone. I’ve found that the levels/modes of communication differ amongst them.

what is your top 5 hollywood hottie list?
Kristin Bell, Marisa Tomei, Famke Janssen, Salma Hayek, Liz Hurley – not necessarily in that order. Also, this could change by the hour.

who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My buddy George.

when/where was the last place you traveled?
Texas and Gulf Coast. Returned yesterday.

how many times have you been in love?
Enough for me to know what it feels like.

how old will you be in 10 years?
42

what did the last text message you received on your cell say?
“It was great seeing ya buddy! Take care and stay in touch!”

what is a saying you say a lot?
”It's a funny old game!”

sinful snacking weakness?
I’m not a big snacker and rarely crave sweets, but when I do it’s usually cookie-dough ice cream.

best clothing style?
Que?

ever run out of gas?
Once in my own car – two or three times as a passenger.

worst date ever?
Several years ago in Florida. She wasn’t really into me and I wasn’t really into her, but she was among a small percentage of young, single women in the community – so I didn’t have much to pick from. We basically stared at each other over dinner – conversation was like pulling teeth. Silent drive home and I never spoke with her again. Really that’s the only truly bad date I can recall. I don’t date someone unless we have enough in common that I know it’ll be good conversation if nothing else.

personal records?
Very few. Plausible deniability.

what would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day?
Dirty things to myself. Very dirty things. I’d like to add that I would hope that my day to be the opposite sex wouldn’t fall on one of those “days of the month” – because I’m empathetic that you all have to deal with that – but I have no desire to experience it first hand.

total jail time?
Zero. *knocks on wood*

have a crush on anyone you work with?
Not in the office – but do vendors and clients count?

in your cd player right now?
Randy Rogers Band

what is something you believe in?
That nobody is as predictable as you might think.

what is something you fear?
Needles. Heights – if I’m not secured.

big or small?
What? I like all things to be in proportion.

worst physical pain you ever experienced?
My wisdom teeth being pulled. Actually, I couldn't feel that- it was post-op that was the killer.

tell us something about your childhood?
I made friends and enemies equally well. Sometimes enemies became friends and friends became enemies. I learned that ultimately, all you have is you. These days I make few of either, although I feel like I have plenty of (good)friends and can’t think of too many enemies.

best time to catch you in a good mood?
Most of the time.

if you could be anything for a day, what would it be?
God (or whatever controls the universe). There’d be some f-ing changes around here!

most prized possession?
My friends and family.

would you ever sell it?
Everything is negotiable! Seriously though, not a chance.

what is one of your pet peeves?
When people scrape their teeth across their fork as they take a bite of something. It’s like finger nails on a chalk board!!

what song are you listening to right now?
“Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones.

if you could sucker punch someone right now who would it be?
Well, I was brought up to not sucker punch anyone. If you’re gonna go toe-to-toe, be a man about it. But radicals (of anything) tend to make my blood boil.

any secrets?
That’s classified – I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

unhealthy addictions?
Aren’t all addictions unhealthy?

unhealthy fascinations?
Women.

favourite sexual position?
I’m a giver, so if you’re a girl – you might just have to find out for yourself. If you’re a guy – we’ll talk about it during poker night.

what do you notice first about the opposite sex?
Depends on the situation. In a bar – it’s what they drink. I think that says a lot about someone.

favourite physical part of the opposite sex?
I’m a guy. Is this a serious question?

what physical part would you change about yourself?
I don’t like this question. I used to not have any problems with my physical self – as I get older, more seem to be popping up.

soft sensual sex or porn star sex?
Depends on the girl. I really like girls that can do both well. With me, both will be tested.

would you go on a date with someone you met online?
I have. I would again.

work attire?
Slacks. Dress shirt. Sometimes tie. Unless my clothes are at the cleaners – then it’s shorts and flip-flops.

what is your best physical feature?
Definitely my eyes. They’ve been called “freakishly blue –in a good way”.

do you think anyone actually has read this far?
Do I count as ‘anyone’?

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2006-08-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

"Bear wanders into Lake Tahoe casino offering 'Habitat for Everything Wild' -
At least he didn't play craps all over the place"

Story HERE

DOGS WILL BE DOGS

2006-08-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

Did anyone see the news report about the guard dog who decided to attack the stuffed bear exhibit at a museum in London which included a stuffed bear owned by Elvis Presley worth tens of thousands? The total damage was estimated at almost $1 million.

If not, read HERE.

I feel really bad for the owners of these bears, but seriously - the thought of this dog going through, shaking and ripping apart these bears is pretty damn funny!! Anyone who's owned a dog knows that you don't leave them around stuffed animals that aren't toys, which are the ultimate in playtime fun for dogs!!

And this poor little guy has no idea what he's done!!

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

2006-07-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so bad at betting on horses that I should just buy my own race horse. Even if it never won, I'd still be saving money...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2006-07-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

"I went to grab another gear, and I dropped the transmission."

-Lance Berkman on pulling his groin during a base run Sunday.

Berkman's a clown (in a good way). He had a miniature (kids) version of his all-star jersey delivered to his locker before the all-star game a couple of weeks ago. He put it on and wore it around just to get all the guys in a good, funny mood before the game.

TEXAS BOUND

2006-07-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

In the last year, I've traveled through Texas airports to get to other places, but I'm finally going to be able to spend some time there this time visiting friends and family and checking on my worldly possessions still in storage in Houston. I'm not leaving for a few weeks, but I'm excited and had to write about it. Actually, that's really all I could think of to write about today, so yeah - kinda lame. To my blogging friends in Texas (both new and old) - hopefully we can get together for some cold beverages of the alcoholic variety...

MY 'FINAL' THOUGHTS

2006-07-10T16:51:00.000-07:00

Having watched nearly every single game of the World Cup, I'm overall pretty happy with the competition in its entirety. Were my favorite teams in the final? Nope. Did I think the two teams that went to the final deserved to be there? Probably. France and Italy arguably played the most solid ball all tournament. So here are some random thoughts about it.

-The first round refs made some really shitty calls that changed the dynamics of the tournament - but they were instructed to not put up with certain shenanigans that are most prevailent in international play. They did as instructed. It didn't do them any favors.

- The US team had great players. It also had very little heart and very little teamwork. The best game they had was against the Italians where, being down to 9 players, they were forced to work as a team.

- I always like seeing underdog teams do really well. Ghana was a great example of this.

- Brazil had probably the most talented players in the tournament as a group. Like the Americans, they didn't play well as a group.

- I thought both Spain and Argentina would have also deserved to be in the final.

- Zinedine Zidane was my favorite player to watch all Cup. I don't care for the French team as a whole, but his ability to place the ball exactly where he wants it makes plays happen. I also like that he never pulls the bullshit injury tricks.

- He's a human being, so he's going to get angry now and then - that's just natural.

- The Italians, who would have ranked on my favorite list at the beginning of the tourny, made my stomach turn with the world-class acting. They're a bunch of pussies.

-The Aussies got screwed in their final game. But they got really lucky in some of the other games prior - which got them to the game they lost anyway.

-The Germans were fun to watch, but they couldn't find the back of the net, despite controlling the ball for the majority of minutes in their games. They ranked high in my opinion as far as ball control - perhaps the best in the tournament.

-Wayne Rooney has a lot of growing up to do.

-Finally, I'm sad that it's all over now. Going back to one-hour lunches doesn't seem like much fun.

-Oh! One more... Eventhough Zidane deserved the red card and his headbutt was unsportsman like, I (not so secretly) think it was fun (and funny) to see. Finally that little Italian pussy Materazzi really had something to cry about. Just sayin'.

AND THE HEADLINE WINNER OF THE DAY....

2006-07-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

"Man finds light bulb where sun doesn’t shine -Prisoner has surgery for removal; unknown how many it took to screw it in"

Here's the whole story.

CHECK MATE

2006-06-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

In an all too common moment of introspection not too long ago - and by not too long ago I mean within the last 20 or so minutes - I came to a self realization that I often approach dating like a chess game. Suffice it to say that this isn't necessarily always a very healthy way to approach personal relationships. But it is what it is.

I contemplate how I got to this point. When I was a teenager, matters of the heart seemed so cut and dry: someone likes someone else, they tell their best friend who tells the affection-object's best friend who tells the affection-object and the next thing you know you are making-out in a park with the biggest pair of blue balls you could possibly ever have imagined. Then you spend the next few months, if not years, in a dramatic real-life teenage version of a really bad Woody Allen movie. A few years later, being somewhat seasoned, is the college stage where the kids who didn't learn their lesson in high school make up for that lost time and the ones who lived through it are tired of it and begin their quest to get as much ass in as little time possible. Post ass-getting-college-stage, we actually start to consider things like "real-life relationships" and the whole dynamic changes because you've just spent the last several years getting ass and now applying an emotional factor into the mix takes some time and training. This is where years of trial and error occur. For some people, this trial and error occurs with the same person. Hopefully for people in that group, they can find a way to stick it out and be happy. For the rest of us, this means trial and error with different people - each of them taking a piece of us and possibly leaving us with something (preferrably something positive that's not an STD test).

The experience is a good thing. Hugh Hefner even wrote in his "Little Black Book" that people aren't ready for marriage until they are in their 30's and that even then, there's no reason to get married unless they are planning kids. I'm not sure I agree that one could generalize that much, but certainly I think that's pretty accurate for a good number of people. And Hef might be the ultimate icon of masculinity and sexuality - a modern day god - but he himself has been married multiple times, which makes him an expert or a hypocrite whichever way you want to take it.

The thing is, the real problem comes in when you realize that there isn't a balance between what you've given and what you've taken (read: learned). What's more is when you start to question whether you hit that balance a while back and just didn't recognize it or if you still have yet to hit it. You also wonder how "balanced" the people you might be interested in are. Regardless, you enter a world of calculated movement.

Let the game begin.

I move my pawn forward and call her. She calls back, moving one of her pawns. We know that each one of these moves is monumental for the rest of the game - this is where it all begins. A few more of these moves are played out like Vince Vaughn's diatribe at the beginning of Wedding Crashers. If all things go well from that, you might capture the support of her Bishops (Closest Friends) which takes things to a new level of vulnerability. After trading rooks a few times (staying at one-another's castle) you have to confront the knights (the past relationship experiences that make-up the emotional protection layer). The first person that gives up the knights is in the most vulnerable position and moving all over the board can take a long time because nobody wants to give up that position. And the game is fun enough that continuing to play is comfortable and entertaining. Until it gets boring and repetitive and one person forfeits. Or possibly things get beyond that and King and Queen live happily. Either way, it's tough to make it beyond the pawns sometimes. And sometimes someone makes a wrong move and loses the game after the first few moves. The most important thing is to get motivated enough to play the game, which i'm finding is more difficult as I get older.

Or am I?

DON'T CRY FOR ME....

2006-06-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

Argentina...

This team brought a level of play today that I've never seen before in my lifetime - and I've watched and played a LOT of soccer. WOW!!

Speaking of Argentina.... The tentative plan is for me and at least one of my business partners to spend the month of December in Buenos Aires. We're pretty sure we have our accommodations squared away, but if anyone has any suggestions on "must see" things and/or the best place to find quality travel information, can you help a bruthah out?? I've looked up a few websites, but so far they are shite and I'm impatient at this juncture - which will change the closer to December it gets.

Ciao for now...

PARDON ME...

2006-06-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

while I have a sexist guy moment, cause I'm a guy and that's what we do.

I present: Female Fans of the World Cup

Thank you Fox Sports!!! P.S. Are those seriously the best looking USA fans you could come up with?? Or were those stock photos from the Friday night stockcar races in Pascagoula Mississippi that you were trying to pass off?? And yes, the Brazilian fans are always the hottest - thanks for representing them well! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with myself...

SHORT PAUSE

2006-06-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

I realize that I haven't posted in a while - my apologies. I actually had a good post idea last week, but I forgot what it was in my frustration of Blogger.

I probably won't be posting much over the next month or so because A) It's World Cup time and that takes precedence over EVERYTHING. B)It's summer and my activity level has increased about 300%. Hopefully yours has too.

Speaking of the World Cup... Did anyone see the US team get their asses pounded this morning? It was embarrassing. Granted, the Czech team is increadibly good - but they didn't even try!!!! It was like all our players were just standing around doing the bare minimum. The exciting game today was the Japan Vs. Australia game early this morning. It wasn't all that exciting until the last 10 minutes, when Australia came back from a 1-0 deficit and score 3 goals. Pretty amazing!

The Americans play again on Saturday vs. Italy. If they bring the same level that they had today, they'll get slammed again. Hopefully they can find a new level of intensity in the next 5 days.

BRIAN UNPLUGGED

2006-06-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

If you've looked at my links at all in the last few months you've noticed and perhaps even visited the website of Ms. Annie D (aka Smart At Love). Ms. Annie D. is a psychologist and her site focuses on dating advice for single women. I enjoy reading this site for a number of reasons, the biggest being that, although I'm sure I'll never fully understand women, it helps me at least try.
I often comment giving "That Male Voice", as Ms. Annie likes to call it, that can sometimes bring a different point of view to the table.

A little while back, she asked me if I would be interested in guest writing for her weekly Wednesday guest column. I thought it would be fun, but I wasn't really sure what I would write about without becoming the enemy. I contemplated this for a long time and then realized that if I wrote anything, this was going to be a risk. So after much deliberation, I decided to put a little of myself out there to possibly give (and recieve) some insight into a part of the dating life (mentality) of a single guy my age. I think it's safe to say that it's difficult to convey the complexity of one's self or others in a snapshot short enough to be a blog post, which also made me a little nervous.

I don't often post about my dating life here unless its after the fact, and I feel like venting or reflecting. However, if you want a little glimps into a small portion of things, feel free to check out Annie's site. I'm sure it's TMI, but oh well. It's part of me. Unplugged. Exposed.

THE BLACK AND WHITE DAYS

2006-05-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

When I was a little guy, and I'd see pictures or film from my parents' childhood, I'd comment that they were from "The Black and White Days" because there was no color. I didn't realize that it was simply the technology and insisted that at some point, perhaps in the 60's, somebody introduced color to the world. No, I don't mean color photo processing, I mean color to the REAL world. Before that, people just lived in black, white and their varying shades. I think they got a kick out of that, but didn't really want to be associated with older movies - from, you know, The Black and White Days.

My birthday is this weekend and although I'm never really all that excited about getting older, I think I have finally come to terms with it. After all, there's no stopping it. And as I (we) age, technology continues to surpass itself both growing (improving) and aging simultaneously. Can we grow and improve with it?

I recall being around 10 and my parents gave my grandparents an answering machine for their telephone. My grandparents, in their mid 60's, had a hell of a time figuring out how to use this fine modern machine despite my frequent tutoring sessions. A call to their house in their absence would usually be a humorous experience with the answering machine sputtering out a half recorded outgoing message that was obviously made in utter frustration. The VCR we gave them a year or two later was just as frustrating for them to figure out. I actually felt bad for the battered remote control.

My parents are a little more technologically savvy, having laptops and digital cameras. But I can't help but smirk watching them look through bifocals trying to navigate the neverending features, often frustrated. That is, until I see a teenage kid punching out HTML code (and other difficult computer lit things) as if he's been doing it since he was in the first grade. Mostly, because he probably HAS been doing it since he was in the first grade- but also because I realize that I'm not so far off from fumbling with (ever advancing) modern technology the way my parents do and my grandparents did. Any changes to this very website are a major undertaking for me. When I was in high school, to have a 386processor with 4MB of hard drive was not only an expensive venture, but a modern marvel at that.

This makes me ponder what technology will be like if I ever have kids. Will they say, "Dad. Wow! You grew up in the VCR Days!!" or "You grew up in the One Dimensional Days!"? Who knows. But it's one more step toward senility for me. Did I mention that I'm okay with that?

*side note: Spell check didn't recognize VCR! Scary!

BOOKS!

2006-05-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

I recieved a package on Monday from dear old mom. Apparently she decided to have a hayday at the bookstore because it contained a stack of new books. I'm not complaining because to be honest, I've been on a streak of bad books lately and needed some new inspiration. Among the action/mystery novels that I tend to gravitate toward, was this random book titled "The Time Traveler's Wife". I scanned the cover for a briefing and thought to myself "Dear God, she didn't really send me some freakin' Wuthering Heights crap, did she??". So yesterday, while waiting for some people to call me back, I picked it up to at least give it a try. After an hour and 50 pages, I realized that I was hooked. It's nothing like I originally thought (my mom never lets me down- one of the many reasons she's so great). By that time, people were waiting on me to hit some after-work cocktails and as I was out, I realized that I was zoning - thinking about the new book. Why?

A tap on my shoulder.

"Hey! I'm Meagan! I noticed you were staring at my friend and I think she thinks you're kinda cute, wanna meet her?"

"Um. Uh. I. Huh? Wha? I was staring?"

"Yeah! You've been staring at her for like 10 minutes straight. It actually was kinda freaking me out, but she thought it was funny."

"I'm sorry - I must be lost in space."

"Okay, well, whatever - we'll be over here if you want to come over and say 'hi'. Wait, you already knew that because you were STARING!!"

Did I go over there? No. Why? Because I'm the dazing idiot that would rather sit at the bar thinking about a stupid book instead of talking to attractive girls. Why am I single again? Idiot.

Thanks Ma!

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

2006-05-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

It's not until your assistant is out of the office on vacation that you truely realize how important she really is. Mine's getting a raise - really soon!!

A LITTLE TIME TO KILL

2006-05-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

So it's not really exactly an update, but I was tagged by Jacynth LeMaistre (If that's not one of the coolest names on the face of the earth, I don't know what is). She created this meme and who am I not to participate???

1. If you could live in another era, what would it be?
I would live in 18^th Century Europe. Those were the days. Music was full and revolutionary. Art was evolving far beyond religion. Advances in human science and engineering were budding. I’m not much of a musician, artist or scientist – but I could have come up with some kind of breath mint that would have made me a millionaire because damn – before toothpaste and dentists – those folks had to be sporting some nasty breath.

2. If you got paid $200 million per year, would you be an Alaskan crab fisher (keep in mind this is one of the deadliest jobs)?
Hell yeah!!! Don’t forget, I was a boat captain and a firefighter – I get off on this shit. I love the sea and have fond memories of days with 15 foot waves. Having said that, don’t ever take me to a ledge or cliff and ask me to look down (without a railing). Just thinking about heights makes me shiver with fear.

3. Did you eat glue as a child?
No, but I really loved taking a hand-full of rubber cement and making it into a bouncy ball. So much so that I’m sure I cost the school district an extra $100 per year in rubber cement throughout my elementary career.

4. If you could be in a movie, what would it be and why?
It would be Charlie in The Italian Job. Where else does a good guy get to rob and pilfer all over the world with his best buddies, become a millionaire AND get the girl without going to jail? All the while, everyone is cheering him on. In a perfect world, that’s where.

5. If you could set up your own mafia ring, what would you call it?
I Compagni

6. If you had the choice between meeting David Hasselhoff or Tom Cruise, who would you choose and why?
Is this a trick question?? It sounds like a trick question. Do I have to answer trick questions? I hate trick questions. I think it’s a trick question. Next?

7. Would you ever fly Hooters airlines?
”Team America… Fuck Yeah!!!”

8. Would you rather hear no evil or see no evil?
I can’t hear much anyway, so I’ve already somewhat adapted to that. Sight is my most coveted sense. Capisca?

9. If you started a search engine, what would you name it?
Chunks. Which is what I want to name a dog. That way I can have my own little laugh every time someone says “Oh my God, I was so sick that I blew chunks!!”

10. If you had the ability to see five years into the future, would you do it?
Are you kidding me?? Have you seen The Butterfly Effect? Back to the Future? Any time you fuck with the time/space continuum, you fuck everything else up. Not cool! Not cool at all!!!

APOLOGIES

2006-05-04T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't had a chance to update in a while......

Lots going on. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a good update.

THE LONE STAR STATE AND MY CONTRIBUTION TO EDUCATION

2006-04-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

You would think that after all this time, I would have put something of educational value on a post or two. Well, okay - maybe there is somewhere among the daily dribble (yeah, I realize I'm using the term 'daily' loosely).

Because I check sitemeter here and there, I notice that there are several hits a day for searches along the lines of "why is it named the lone star state". Since searching "Lone Star State" usually brings up this site in the top few, I should probably give at least some explaination. Particularly because many of those landing here appear to be teachers or students and I surely wouldn't want to let anyone down. So here's Mr. B's help:

Why is it called the 'Lone Star State'?

The short answer to that question is this: After many battles, including that at the Alamo against Santa Ana, Texas proclaimed its independence as a republic in 1836. The lone star, originally gold on a blue background, signified this and served as a reminder of the struggles to gain its independence from Mexico. At the time, folks in both Texas and the United States explored annexation to the US. However, political disagreements pertaining to issues related to the Civil War didn't make the annexation favorable at the time. 9 years later, things were a little different and the Republic of Texas was annexed as the 28th state on December 29, 1845. At this time, the official flag of the republic became the official flag of the state, with exception of the star, which was turned from gold to white. Although I've never varified this personally, it's widely accepted that, in fact, Texas is the only state in the US that reserves the right to legally secede. Economically speaking, it's agricultural, mineral and manufacturing resources make it the single largest contributor to the US economy as a whole.

Bonus fact:

The name Texas comes from the word "Teysha" from the language of the Caddo Indian Tribes. Loosely translated, it means "Friend".

Bonus fact #2:

The University of Texas Longhorns won the Baseball World Series in 2005 AND the NCAA National Football Championship just a few months later in January of 2006. But then, if you've ever read this blog before, you already know this.

Any other questions??? Glad to be of service......

Have a great weekend!!!

REAL MEN OF GENIUS

2006-04-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

Are there very many long-running ad campaigns that have been consistantly funnier than Bud Light's "Real Men of Genius" (formerly "Real American Heroes" before 9/11)? I don't know who comes up with these but there hasn't been a single one I didn't laugh at. The latest one I've heard is Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor - Ironically, I happend to be drinking a bud light and nearly spit it out from laughing... In a nut shell, here's the ad (cheesy background singer guy in parenthesis):

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
(Real men of ge-nius)
Today, we salute you, Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor
(Mister Jean Shorts Inve-nter)
People insisted that jeans were just pants
Apparently those people underestimated your
Out-of-the-box thinking
(A Fashion trail-blazer)
Casual enough for a barbeque
Formal enough for a family reunion
Your multi-dimensional creation handles both duties with ease
(YOU just said “duty”)
And what should we call your ground breaking achievement?
How about “Jorts”
[chorus](We really love your jo-orts)
So crack open an ice cold bud light mister “jorts” inventor!
If fashion’s a war, you’re fighting dirty!
(Mister Jo-orts inve-a-nter)

COMPETITION AND BARRY BONDS

2006-04-18T15:52:00.000-07:00

Even if you aren't a baseball fan, or a sports fan for that matter- you can't read the news without hearing something about the woes of Barry Bonds. He's fundamentally painted himself into a corner with regard to his alleged steriod use. I say "alleged" because although most people, including myself, believe he's used performance enhancing substances - it's still not proven in court. The funny thing is that this has been going on for a long time. In fact, Playboy ran an article back in 2004 about an undercover agent who weaved himself into Barry's circle through his trainer and BALCO and witnessed all of this first-hand. It's not really a matter of if he was taking something, but more what he was taking.

Rather than re-hashing what hundreds of sports writers have already written, I'd rather focus on competition as a whole. I'm not really a Barry Bonds fan, although I do respect his spirit of competition and believe that despite his probable poor judgement, he's a good guy. A centered guy. A focused guy. He's the godson of Willy Mays, a baseball legend at a time when being a black athlete wasn't commonplace. Willy was also a true competitor.

So what makes someone a true and good competitor? Well, I'm sure the definition could easily be debated, but in my opinion it's someone who seeks out the best and strives to be better. Those who take the "eliminate the competition" approach aren't competitors - afterall, you can't have competition if your nemisis is eliminated. A competitor is someone who admires the accomplishments of the competition and aspires to raise the bar. Often times there is static and additional hurdles that one must ignore or maneuver around. For old Willy Mays, it was the color of his skin. He adapted and he overcame.

So when does enhancing one's ability to be a better competitor cross the line? Competition happens in every part of our lives whether we like it or not. Personal relationships and business are two of the biggest forums of competition we deal with everyday. Often times we change things about ourselves to be more competitive in these areas and sometimes those changes are not interchangeable with other competitive aspects to life. Plastic surgery or "enhancement", as it's commonly marketed, is something that is growing in popularity these days. Don't like something about your physical features? It's not getting you the physical attention that you deserve? Easily fixable. Will that help or hurt your professional life? If you are an exotic dancer, it can't hurt. If you are a professional, it really could go either way. What about the way you treat your significant other (or best friend) vs. the way you treat your boss and/or subordinates? We all know that treating these two groups of people the same won't make for the best of circumstances. If you treat your loved ones like subordinates, they may not be loving you back for very long. If you treat your subordinates like loved ones, you may find that productivity is breached. That, or you are served with an harassment suit.

Finally, do all competitors have to begin and end on equal footing on a level playing field? The real life answer to that question is that it's completely impossible. People all have their gifts and talents and just like snowflakes, no two people are exactly alike. Some have many physical attributes that make them appealing or competitive and at the same time not much more. Others lack physically but have tons of other appealing attributes that give them an edge. To want to enhance upon what we lack is human nature.

Barry Bonds has had an amazing career. I remember first seeing him play back in the early 90's when he was with the Pirates. I also saw him play on opening day this year, perhaps for the last time, against the Padres- when fans overwhelmingly boo'd him while one threw a syringe at him. These people are not competitors, nor do they understand competition. I have my own ideas about Barry and his (alleged) steroid use, which are irrelevent at this point. His lifetime work, his records and acheivements will always be tarnished and any other punishment will pale in comparison. I can say, however, that despite everything, I've found his composure and disposition to be consistent with what competition is all about.

Now, does anyone know where I can find something to make someone taller and witty?

HAPPY EASTER!

2006-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

STATISTICS 301

2006-04-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

I must admit, if Deal or No Deal is on, I watch it. Usually with my business partners because we work late and it usually comes on while we're still at the office. All of us have business backgrounds with plenty of experience with numbers (obviously, since we are bankers) and statistics. However, we cannot agree on the statistics with regard to this show. It's been over 10 years since I took a stats class, and honestly - I was pretty much hammered that whole semester so to hell if I can really remember any of it. Maybe one of you can help with our argument. In example:

Position #1: When the contestant is down to 6 cases, including his/her own and there are 6 amounts of money still on the board (including the highest amount, for the sake of argument we'll say is $1,000,000), the show puts up the stat that there is a 1 in 6 chance that the contestant's case holds $1,000,000. This is correct.

Position #2: Given the same scenario, the stat of 1 in 6 chance is NOT correct because the case was originally chosen when there were actually 25 cases/amounts on the board. The odds cannot transcend the variable of time. AND the chosen case/amount was determined at the time it was chosen so therefore statistically speaking the chances of that case containing the $1,000,000 prize are much lower than the possibility of one of the other cases containing it.

We are deadlocked on this issue. Any genuises out there want to help settle this?

Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?

UPDATE: For the record, my position was position #1. My esteemed colleague seems to be coming around to admitting that he completely overanalyzed the issue. He still hasn't fully admitted he was wrong, but I expect he never will. That's alright though.

THE NUMBERS OF BRUCE WILLIS

2006-04-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

I went to see the movie Lucky Number Slevin last night. Not bad. I'd recommend it softly. At least it was a hell of a lot better than 16 blocks. Funny thing is I'm really not a huge Bruce Willis fan. After the movie I was walking to the car and it occurred to me that old Bruce has starred in an irregular amount of movies which referrence a quantity in the title. In fact, other than the numbers 8 and 11, he almost has the first 12 numbers accounted for. Let's see:

1. The First Deadly Sin
2. Look Who's Talking 'TOO'
3. Die Hard 3
4. Four Rooms
5. The Fifth Element
6. The Sixth Sense
7. Lucky Number Slevin
8. (yet to be ID'd)
9. Whole Nine Yards
10. Whole Ten Yards
11. (Not yet ID'd)
12. Twelve Monkeys

Of course this doesn't include 16 Blocks, The LAST Boyscout or ALPHA dog as well as the sequels that would overlap other numbers on the list i.e. Die Hard 4.0.

Coincidence? I think not.

MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

2006-04-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Yep! It's that time of year again! Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that there's only one sports team that I love more than the beloved Longhorns. That's right - it's the greatest team on earth, playing the greatest game: The ASTROS!!

Okay, okay. Before any wiseasses comment about the "greatest team on earth" comment, I concede that the comment is based on emotional bias and not actual statistical fact. However, these guys are hungry for a World Series Pennant - as they've proven with the last couple of seasons. Hopefully, this year they'll hit well enough to backup the stellar pitching staff (Chad Qualls not included in the "stellar" group). As of today, they're 5-2, which is a hell of a lot better than they started the first week of last season. With any luck, Roger Clemens will show up on May 2nd ready for duty to help these guys finish the season the way the last season should have been finished.

As for me, I'll be supporting these guys from SD. Hopefully, I'll be able to take the time to actually get to Houston this summer to see some games. My original plan was to spend at least one weekend a month there this summer to get my Astros fix and feed my Texas music addiction. So far, I'm not doing so well on the planning of all that - but I'm hoping to change that in May. We'll see.

Just had to share my excitement. In the mean time, I'll be hitting a bunch of Padres games to substitute (I had killer seats for opening day!).

VIEWS FROM PARADISE - MY SISTER'S WEDDING

2006-04-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hook 'em horns! (My goal is to take a "hook 'em" pic in as many places as I can this year)

5 minutes married and he's already in the doghouse. Get used to it bro!

Goofy pic of my esteemed immediate family

The Bros and their H... er, I mean gals.

The backdrop. It wasn't painted there. I swear, it really did exsist!

So as you can see, I was with the family for my lil sister's wedding. Surprisingly, about 30 people came out for it from all over the US. If my fuzzy memory serves me correctly, a good time was had by all. If you are wondering how to go to an all-inclusive resort, where drinks, food, and tips are all provided in one price and still manage to spend $500 with absolutely nothing to show for it - just ask me. I'm not saying my answer will be rational or acceptable, but it can somehow be done.

MUCH NEEDED VACATION

2006-03-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

If anyone needs me,

THIS

is where I'll be until early next week...

Much needed R&R!!!!

Adios!

REFLECTION

2006-03-24T13:26:00.000-08:00

"Brian, what's up with you today? You're kind of being a 'glass half-empty guy'."

"Dude, my glass isn't half-empty, or half-full - it has a damn hole in it!"

DID I LEAVE TEXAS JUST IN TIME?

2006-03-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

While I love and miss Texas tremendously, I don't miss some of the stupid things that state officials come up with.

THIS ARTICLE Talks about how a new sting operation is underway. The target: People drunk INSIDE the bar. I have no doubt, had this been going on while I lived in Houston, I'd be wearing the latest fashion in prison attire. I don't care if Martha Stewart designed it either, I don't look so good in orange.

The main objective, according to the article, is to prevent drunk people from driving. As the late Barney Fife would say, "Nip it in the bud". Sounds to me like a pretty logical allocation of state resources...much better than, say, improving the available transportation options home from bars.

Of course it's mentioned that this also serves to prevent people from doing other stupid things like "jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss.” Now I'm not familiar with too many bars which feature an available swimming pool in which to jump from a balcony. This would lead me to assume people are doing this privately, where they are most likely also doing the drinking.

Next on the agenda for state authorities? A sting operation targeting buffet restaurants: Arresting those who go back for seconds, to prevent people from health risks associated with obesity. If they die from being unhealthy, its suicide - which is illegal. And, after all, Texas IS the "fattest state". They feel it's a good "pre-emptive strategy".

MENTAL HOSPITAL ANSWERING RECORDING

2006-03-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

Saw this this morning, laughed. Hard.

If you are obsessive-compulsive please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional we know who you are and what you want.

Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive please hold.

BEST ONE-LINER FROM TV LAST NIGHT

2006-03-17T11:04:00.000-08:00

"Dude, do you want to be right? Or do you want to get laid?"
-Jason on Four Kings regarding Ben's criticism of prospective girlfriend's writing.

THE TV WORLD ACCORDING TO BRIAN

2006-03-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

The current book I'm reading got really boring really fast, which means I'm not motivated to pick it up and read. This presents a major problem because I'm rather manic about finishing a book prior to picking up another. I think it stems from when I was 3 years old and I was taught that I was not allowed to have dessert until I finished my dinner (which I'm actually convinced was a conspiracy: There really wasn't any dessert, but they knew that if I finished my food I would no longer be hungry and able to eat dessert. This was true, so I don't really know for sure. Either way, I still don't eat dessert unless I finish my meal. Crazy. I digress.). Becuase I'm unmotivated to stick the book out right now, I've been catching up on some of my favorite shows. I figured I'd write down my random thoughts.

The Sopranos - Getthafuckoudaheah!! It's about time you came back so that I can resume my routine of ordering take-out Italian food and sitting my happy ass down to watch 55 minutes of pure paranoia. Also, thank you for allowing me an opportunity to stop wondering why I put a halt on "Naked Sundays" with whatshername, which was the void filler of your hiatus.

The L Word - Why am I fascinated by lesbians? Not all or even most of them (especially the ones who are more masculine than I am), but these in particular. These chics are a staple to my Sunday night viewing. However, whoever's "brilliant" idea it was to kill off Dana - I'm coming after you, you misserable excuse for a writer!! After the episode there was this ridiculous documentary diatribe on breast cancer and how they decided to kill Dana and how everyone felt about it. Fuck off!! I don't buy any of it! My mom had breast cancer and I've known many women who have had it. I've donated thousands of dollars to the cause. I don't need one of my favorite fictional characters knocked off just so you bitches can "bring home a point". I'm pissed.

The War at Home - Dave, you are truely a Man's Man! King of the Castle! Blissfully clueless! In charge of things... until the wife differs. But you put up a good fight, and that's what counts. I'm not sure you have great ratings right now, but you're a great show and you have my loyal following.

Grey's Anatomy - I liked you even before you were popular. Not only because it's a good show, but really I started watching because you are the hot, cool chick from Old School. Note to Izzie: You're an idiot for getting emotionally attached to your patient. That's rule #1. Note to George: Dude, props for getting the attention of the (new character) doctor chic - she's sexy. Note to Sheppard: Hurry up and make things work with the wife. She's got her shit together and she knows what she wants. Grey is still taking advice from Allie McBeal, which is not a good thing. Note to Grey: I'm glad you still have my number and feel fine with drunken texting me, but you really need to call if you want to hook-up. That's all.

Las Vegas - You suck. I'm pissed that you've moved to Friday. Someone should get fired for that.

Love Monkey - OOPPS!!! Sorry! That was cancelled. That's right!!! CANCELLED!!! Fuck you CBS!!!! I guess you are a bunch of MONKIES with no LOVE for me!!!! You ALL should be fired!

Scrubs - I've always liked you, but lately it's just not that funny. J.D.: The over-acting is killing things. Calm down a little. Otherwise, keep up the good work. And can we finally get a naked scene with Elliot??? Everyone's doing it these days...

Boston Legal - This show would be shit without Capt. Kirk and the Asshole from Less than Zero (AKA Wlm. Shatner and Jms. Spader). You guys carry this show. Everyone should have a little patio outside their offices where they can sit, reflect and sip on scotch while smoking a cigar at the end of everyday.

NBC on Thursdays - Finally, you guys have a decent line-up for Thursday night viewing. Four Kings will continue to be great, particularly if you continue to filter models through the episodes. Earl: it's all about the Karma, man! The Office: People either love or hate this show. I wasn't impressed at first, because I liked the original British version much better. However, It's grown on me now. I especially like the Celebrity playlists done by the characters for iTunes. Brilliant! Note to Jim: Grow a nut you pussy!

That's about all I've got. As you can see, I really need to finish that damn book. Or, feel free to call in someone with a straight jacket who will send me to the funny farm. But just make sure they take me to a good one. You know, like the ones they send all the celebrities to. I'm gonna need good food and good drugs. I mean - a guy's gotta have his standards, right?

MMMM! FREE BEER!

2006-03-13T16:12:00.000-08:00

THIS would not suck!!!

NEW DISCOVERIES

2006-03-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

It seems lately that there have been many new creatures being discovered here on earth which to me is really exciting. For instance, check out this "HAIRY LOBSTER". And although I don't have the links handy, one researcher just discovered a new species of shark off the coast of Mexico and a group of researchers just discovered hundreds of new species of plants and animals in an area of South America that is largely untraveled. Although I've always been much more fascinated with anthropology, I still think it would be fascinating to be involved with one of these groups of new discoverers.

One thing always stands out with me though (And maybe this is the primate in me). If I came across any new species, my first questions would revolve around how it benefits the world. Like: Is it poisonous? How does it taste? Is it better with BBQ sauce, garlic butter, cocktail sauce or ranch dressing? Does it eat mosquitos and other annoying pests? Can you wear it as a hat? (thats for you Jessica) Could it or its by-products be used as an alternative fuel? Would it get along with my dog? Would it make a good piece of decorum? All important things to ponder. Other than those things, I don't really care if it filter feeds and has regenerating kidney-like organs. This is precisely why I would be a miserable failure as a scientist.

POP QUIZ

2006-03-09T13:38:00.000-08:00

Had I been forced to take THIS QUIZ on Monday morning, I would have failed miserably...

How did you do?

STEPFORD CHEERLEADER

2006-03-08T10:29:00.000-08:00

I saw on the news on Monday the clips of the cheerleader in New York who injured her neck when she fell from a pyramid. I'm not really sure there could be a bigger fear for a cheerleader. Now I've played a lot of sports in my day, however, I've never had the sack to try backflips or any of the other super-human things that gymnists and cheerleaders do on a daily basis. In fact, when I ski-raced, I was always envious of my buddies who were freestyle skiers. While I was training on a course, they were training on giant jumps doing frontflips, backflips and twists - not to mention frontflips and backflips WITH twists. My hats off to anyone who has ever tried these marvels of nature.

Having said that, did anyone else find it mildly disturbing that she continued her routine while strapped down to a gurney like a robot? Just a little freaky, that's all I'm saying. Is there a real life Stepford??

PARTIED OUT

2006-03-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Giant party at the loft (yeah,it's finally finished). Over 200 people. I aged 10 years that night. Still feeling the hangover blues ("post-party depression"), but I'll find something to write about soon - possibly even this afternoon....

(Why do I do this to myself??) I'll grow up one of these days.

ONLY PART OF THE TIME!!!!! I SWEAR!

2006-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

Nothing says "pick me up!" like a bouquet of flowers from FTD. Or a positive assessment from Quizilla. A real self esteem booster - glad I was in need of one...

FIRE!

which chinese symbol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

JEALOUSY VS. TERRITORIAL

2006-02-27T08:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not a jealous person. As I've said before, it's a waste of time and emotion. However, if we're out a bar or club and some other tomcat is sniffing around, don't be surprised if I pee on your leg.

I am man! Hear me yelp!

COMPLETE BLOCKAGE

2006-02-23T14:24:00.000-08:00

I need to write an article I promised for a San Diego magazine - deadline being March 17 and I have to admit, I've got nothin'. The article needs to be humorous, perhaps even satirical. Obviously this blog has lacked a whole lot of interesting or humorous content in a while. My head is blocked with my own self-centered "here and now", and I'm dwelling on the fact that I can't come up with any topics, which makes it worse. It's like when I'm out at the bar and my bladder says, "Dude, it's THAT time." but I get to the urinal and my brain is saying, "With all these people around??? That's WAY too much pressure!!! No way Jose!!!! Not gonna happen!". Then I'm forced to zip-up, wash my hands and walk out - not just a broken man, but a broken man with a full bladder. Not cool. Not cool at all.

So any suggestions?

About the article. Not the stage fright.

YES, I DO HAVE TESTICLES

2006-02-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Despite watching entirely too much figure skating over the weekend, I actually spent most of the long weekend doing manly construction projects related to our downtown party loft. The loft is well known in certain San Diego circles. It's been leased out for the last year to a construction company building a highrise next door. We just got it back and we were anxious to begin upgrades. Here it is before painting the concrete portion of the floor:

After painting:

From 180 degrees of above picture:

Shot from an upstairs angle looking down:

The bar I built on Saturday (This was the most important project!):

So as you can see, the olympics haven't killed my sperm count. It remains full of testosterone and ready, strong and able at any time I might need it, which may or may not be ever, depending on how much she looks like Tanith Belbin...

That is all.

THINGS SAID AT MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT

2006-02-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

"Wow! They're really out of sync!"
"Very fluid performance."
"Great footwork."
"Did you see that little foot drop there? That's gonna cost 'em."
"Much better performance than yesterday's."
"He's back in good graces now!"
"That's a great costume she's wearing."

After two hours of watching Ice Dancing, I concluded that my buddy and I are watching too much of the Olympics and quite possibly had the gayest conversations ever had by two straight guys.

Scary when our armchair commentary is then repeated by the NBC announcers....

TODAY

2006-02-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

As an Olympics junky, it's been my duty to turn on NBC when I get back from my morning run to check into what's happening in Torino (or Turin - which is it??). Unfortunately, the Today show is the vessel which NBC chooses to relay the winter games in the morning. Of course, programming-wise this makes sense, but there's a reason I stopped watching Today many years ago.

I remember the days when Today was a dignified program where real issues were discussed and time was spent on interviews by serious interviewers (Bryant GumBALL and Jane Pauly - neither of whom I particularly care for, but they're really good at what they do). When Katie Couric first started, she was cute and added a little zing to the cast with her puppy-dog like features. She was a good addition at the time. I enjoyed the show then.

Over the years, things have changed. At some point several years ago, the producers started to slowly change the format to match a demographic that I'm only assuming caters to the soccer moms. Obviously not a bad idea because they've dominated that time slot of programming for as long as I can remember. Problem is, I'm not a soccer mom. So this doesn't work for me - and in my self-involved world it should.

At what point did Katie become a condescending bitch? Matt Lauer does get some decent interviews and asks some good, poignant questions on occasion but for the most part he's kind of a penis wrinkle with a bad haircut. Al Roker is a jovial character, and it's hard to pick on jovial characters, but what exactly does he do? Anne Curry is the only person on the show who I think maintains some dignity. Aside from her elegant sexiness, she delivers the news in a careful and thoughtful manner. The worst part is that she constantly gets screwed. While the 3 stooges get to trot all over the globe, she's stuck in studio 3B freezing her ass off. Frozen out. There is no justice.

So Katie,Matt and Al, Sorry but every time I give you another chance after months of not viewing the show, you continue to disappoint me. After the Olympics conclude, I'm afraid I won't tune in again until one or more of you is gone. With that, I bid you good luck and good morning.

I'm now going to resume watching Curling events on CNBC, thank you very much! I'm not sure there has ever been a more boring sport which has so enticingly captivated me into a Curling watching junky. GO TEAM USA!!

LIVE MUSIC (FOR ONCE)

2006-02-15T11:29:00.000-08:00

So you've read here before about my disappointment with the live music scene in SD (or lack thereof), of which I was so accustomed in Texas. Apparently "DJ's" are cool here. Don't get me wrong, I can really appreciate a good mix, but are turntables considered an instrument? I think not. I have appreciation for those who have spent years perfecting mastery of an actual instrument - which is half the reason I love music so much. Also the reason why I like all types of music.

Tonight, on the agenda is Big Head Todd and the Monsters. They rock! 'Nuff said.

2006-02-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

Got THIS LINK from That Girl.............

A PROBLEM OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS

2006-02-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

I love sports. Most people who have visited here for a while know this. I'm not a big basketball fan, so this time of year tends to bum me out - football is over until August and Baseball doesn't start for another two months. Because of this, I'm happy to have the Olympics this year to help me through the dead months.

Needless to say, I spent several hours this weekend glued to NBC watching the various events, many of which amaze me. I grew up ski racing and spent 10 years of my youth competing around the country, not that I really was ever that good- my parents just liked having me overly involved in something to keep me from the vagrancy that many of my buddies were practicing. Watching it remindes me of my days of constant and enless training and how it ruined skiing for me to the extent that the thought of skiing has no appeal to me any longer. I often speak to my childhood friends who were in the same boat and for them, it's the same. Don't get me wrong, I love watching the skiing but it's the other events that amaze me the most. Like Luge and the other sledding type events - how does somebody get into this sport?? Are there Luge resorts somewhere?? Is there a lot of competition in Luge?? It looks like a blast! What about Curling? I've never seen a curling rink - do they have them in the northeast? Is it kind of like a bowling alley? Do people get off work on a Friday night and say to their friends "Hey! lets go have some coldies and get down at the curling rink!!!I want to try it.

Yesterday wasn't a great day for the American team, but I still couldn't help choking up a little at watching Sean White win for snowboarding and Michelle Kwan's teary farewell. These things are what the Olympics are all about - and not just because I'm on my Man Period.

This brings me up to my complaint of the day: When the Olympics are held in a time zone that is so far ahead of the telecast, does the media have to fucking ruin it?? Yesterday I logged on to the see world news around 3pm and in the headlines were the results of all the events I was looking forward to watching. WTF? It's like watching the Super Bowl on the west coast in a delayed telecast as it's already been played on the east coast and having my buddy from Hoboken NJ call me to tell me who won - which he would totally do, by the way, if given a chance.

I really hate complaining about anything without being able to offer a viable solution - it goes against everything I believe. This one is a little complex though. I'm sure since NBC carries the Winter Games, the other media organizations couldn't give a rats ass about spoiling the surprise. However, couldn't they be a little more considerate to their readers? Like when they are reviewing a movie or a book and they give you warning the they are giving away the surprise??

I'm boycotting the news until after the Olympics are over. I'm a news addict, so I hope you all can appreciate the sacrifice I'm making for Team America....

BURN IN HELL BIG NEWS ORGANIZATIONS!! BURN IN HELL!!!!

I'm not bitter or angry...

BOOBIES

2006-02-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I was home during the day and watching an exploitative daytime talk-show, like Ricky "I'm as big as a" Lake, Jenny "I wish I were a real blonde" Jones, Sally "My real name is Jesse because I'm a man" Rapheal or something similar- and they had a panel of men on stage who undoubtedly were frat-boys who professed that their initial attraction to women had everything to do with tits and ass. Of course, being that it was a daytime talk-show the format was designed to turn the audience to a riotous outrage at how these guys could be so shallow. At one point, some dude in the audience- upon seeing the persecution of all the males in the studio- decided to take the self-righteous-indignation approach and proclaim that the guys on the stage were "pigs and should be ashamed of themselves for being so shallow as to judge a woman for her breasts!!!!". One panelist, undoubtedly the calmest (and destined to be a be a renouned trial lawyer) simply replied, "Oh. You must be an ASS man!" I was impressed. And it takes a lot to impress me -particularly if you take part in a stage setting on a daytime talk show. Seriously, if you got a call from the producers of Jerry Springer you'd know that either your girl/boyfriend has been messing around, is a transexual or is sleeping with your brother/cousin/father/uncle. Anyway you look at it - saying "yes" is gonna be bad. I digress.

That was over a decade ago. Times have changed. People are more willing to confront their sexuality/turn-ons and unless they are among the far-reaching-religious right, most people are pretty cool with it. No longer do people chide me for screaming "I LOVE BOOBIES!!!"- unless it's my next door neighbor and its 3am. Wait. I live next to a lesbian bar - second thought, nope! Nobody cares!

So I was visiting the site Citizen of the Month, which by-the-way is a funny-as-hell daily read, I jokingly commented about his use of a series of pictures of male-models and how it felt weird - like when the girls in my old office would pull up a picture of some dude with a giant,um, "member" just as I was walking by so that they could see me wince, shake my head and blush as they point and laughed at me. I'm not a homophobe - just a guy who doesn't necessarily get much out of pictures of men that are designed to arouse women. Neal, the author of Citizen, commented back with some musings (which I'm assuming were actually gentle sarcastic patronizations -which I of all people can appreciate) and asked what kind of "Manly topics" he should include on his site. I said "BOOBIES!" - well, okay not that emphatically- although that's how it sounded in my head.

Boobies! Bewbies! Boobs! Tities! Tits! Knockers! Cannons! Lungs! (I really could go on and on...) Really, who doesn't love boobies?? Big ones, small ones - it doesn't matter. They're fun to talk about, play with, lick, shake, massage, tickle, kiss, cover with chocolate (okay, this is getting a little out of hand...) Bottom line - people LOVE Boobies!

I really had a lot more to say about this topic, but the AADD just kicked in and the writer's block took form in the shape of fond memories of past girlfriends' boobies. I don't like where this mindset is headed..................

So that's all I've got to say about that. For now.

CONFIDENCE

2006-02-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

I recently got hooked on the new show "Love Monkey". Anybody seen it? In all honesty, it's really a lot like "Ed", if you caught that show. Same lead actor, playing fundamentally the same part from a personality stand-point with the fore-shadowing storyline following some of the same principals. I really liked "Ed" and was a little miffed when it went off the air - so none of these similarities bother me. And really the best part of the show is the music and the themes.

Last night's episode was about confidence. The message was that regardless of what people may try and portray, confidence is a wavering thing - just like health or general moods. It can pop-up when you least expect it and draw back just as fast. When you are on a "confidence wave" things fall into place and tend to go smoothly in all aspects of your life. I generally agree with this.

However, isn't it directly related to one's overall general happiness? And not necessarily on a rational basis? In otherwords, you will have no confidence if you are overall depressed and discontent. However, what if you ARE generally happy - does that automatically make a person confident? I don't think so. What is the relationship between happiness and confidence? For me, if I don't continue to strive for my next goal, I lose confidence rather quickly - even if I'm generally pretty happy with myself. Which is fine - but I have trouble building up to goals rather than maintaining the momentum of a current goal climb. So if I'm not on a momentum rush, my confidence level drops off dramatically.

Right now I kind of feel in between.

I'VE BEEN TAGGED......

2006-02-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

The lovely Ms. Sam tagged me for "fours", so here you go.....

Four jobs that I've had:
(hmmm. I've done lots of things, so I guess I should just pick the ones I liked)

1. I worked at a high-end men's clothing store in high-school and college.

2. Scuba Instructor at Club Med

3. Boat Captain

4. VP of Business Development for a consulting firm

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. Friday Night Lights
2. A Few Good Men
3. Old School
4. The Big Lebowski

Four places that I have lived:

1. Bozeman, Montana
2. St. Lucia, West Indies
3. Provodenciales, Turks and Caicos
4. Key Largo, Florida

But Texas will ALWAYS feel like home!

Four TV shows I watch:

1. HBO on Sunday nights - whatever series is in season
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Rescue Me
4. Four Kings

Four places I've vacationed:

1. Napa Valley
2. New Orleans
3. Ixtapa, Mexico
4. Grand Cayman

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Shrimp wontons from Banana Bay.
2. Veal Marsala
3. Beef chow mein from PF Changs.
4. The Benihana Special

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Foxnews.com
2. MSNBC
3. FoxSports
4.College Humor

Four places I would rather be:

1. Madrid, Spain
2. Any Caribbean beach
3. Greece
4. Texas

THERE IS NO GOV'T CONSPIRACY

2006-02-02T10:31:00.000-08:00

I'm really thinking that the American people have hit an all time high on allowing the media to put them into panic mode. For the last few days- with the confirmation of Justice Alito- I've seen a lot of posts in the blog world which focus on the fear of anti-abortion laws. All of these have ultimately ended up voicing dismay with Dubya. So I'm going to voice my opinions here.

Awww fuck it. There's no point. I'm a republican. I'm not a right wing fundamentalist. I am pro-choice. I like bush, and I also like the president. There are a lot more people like me out there - even if they don't voice it because it's not the trend. Most everyone who reads my blog already knows this about me, so I should probably get some work done rather than waste my time ranting about the media and the citizens who believe everything they read and see on tv.

That is all.

RECOVERING

2006-01-31T10:11:00.000-08:00

I'm finally recovering from both the weekend and all the fake blog sex I had in the last post. Whheeww! Thanks to all of you who posted something!

As for the weekend??? My buddy and I had the brilliant idea of doing the "PB Pub Crawl" on Saturday. For those of you not familiar with this, there are several bars that stretch from the beach area all along Garnet ave in Pacific Beach. The object is to have at least one drink at each. The problem is that nobody actually comes up with this idea until after they're already pretty well lit up. We were no exception. We spent most of the day at a bar over-looking the beach and were there until well after sunset when we embarked on our journey. 3 hours and 10 stops (read: Bars) later, we were literally crawling into a cab. Ug.ly.

I don't think I'll be doing that again for a while.

That's all I got.

GROUP MANDATORY POST

2006-01-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right - everyone HAS to participate!!!

I got this from Anonymous Midwest Girl who got it from, well, who knows and who cares where it started - but the important thing is that it's hilarious. What is all this nonsense I'm talking?

Here:

Post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. You've got free reign. Start your sentence "Remember when you and I...."

Even if you've never commented here before, here's your chance! Those who read here often and never comment, I know who you are so do it - or I'm gonna have to kick yer arse! Got it? Good.

AGE AND HEALTH EPIPHANY

2006-01-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

I'm only 31, but I've been feeling old. I was sharing my new Music Revolution CD from Sam with various friends and realized I stopped caring about the names of bands some time ago. Sure, I recognize the sounds and the songs, but name? Who cares? Apparently everyone else but me. I used to be cool! Promise! For most of my life I was always on top of the great new bands - way before anyone else knew who they were. Now? I was asking my friends if they'd heard of this band or that band that Sam included on her mix and they were all like, "Um, Yeah!" Granted I'm not totally clueless - there were several I'd heard of but couldn't have told you what they sing -just that I recognized the names. I really need to pay more attention. Another indicator that I'm getting old is that I was trying to name an actress (Kate Hudson) from a movie I recently watched - I couldn't remember her name, so I referred to her as "Goldie Hawn's daughter". Scary!

I've always been pretty healthy. I rarely get sick and I've never been heavy. I've always been pretty active but to be honest never really payed attention to what I was eating. Mostly because I'm a relatively good eater. By that I mean that I eat a variety of foods, including tons of veggies and fruits. I'm not a huge fan of fast food, but I might grab some Micky D's once or twice a month (I LOVE fast food breakfasts, but rarely get them because Ronald and the King stop serving them too early).

I am in the midst of renewing my passport and looked at my current passport picture, which was taken 10 years ago. I looked great! My face was finely chiseled with my jaw picture perfectly square. My point to all of this is that it really hit me that I've gained weight. I'm certainly not overweight, but the weight I've put on is not hitting me in the parts I would like. This was illustrated a few months ago when I saw my mom for the first time in several months and her first words were "Wow! You look like you've lost some weight! You don't look as heavy as you did back in March." Which in my mom's language translates to "You've been looking a little heavy Brian, but I'm a sweet lady so instead of saying that I'm making up a false comparison to break it to you lightly."

Until this year, I've never taken exersize very seriously but I came to the conclusion that this is necessary to maintain my RETROsexual identity that my ego endulges. Recently I decided to take it a step further and get away from my "I really don't care what I eat - if its killing me, at least I'll die happy" attitude and start making more of an effort to eat healthier. Problem is, I haven't found too many dietitians and nutritionists that can explain things in layman's terms. One doesn't need to look far to see what I'm talking about -a great example is in THIS article from today. WTF is a refined grain?? How the hell do I know a saturated fat from any other type of fat? FOUR servings of whole grains? Lady, I don't eat four servings of ANYTHING in a day!!!! Fuck me running!!!

So I'm at an age where I need to start considering my health more. When did this happen? How? I saw a commercial with Christy Brinkley the other day and she doesn't look a day over 29 - she still gives me wood like she's been doing since I was 8 years old. What is she, like 75?? And trust me, when you are 8 you can get wood by touching a feather - at 31, it's often enough but much less suseptive to whimsical daydreams. At any rate, this has been my stress lately. At least until I warm up to the whole idea. Oh! That reminds me - the ex turns 30 today. I guess I should call or send her a text welcoming her to 'the club'. I'm confident she's freaking the fuck out about now.

Is that a random enough ramble for the day? Good.

OFFICIAL NEW MUSIC DAY

2006-01-18T13:59:00.000-08:00

In cooperation with Melissa's (and Pink Kitty's) CD Revolution #2, I recieved Sam's compilation of kick ass tunes. Loving The Strokes, Hot Hot Heat and The Postal Service - to name a few. I'm now in the process of integrating some of them into my various playlists for things like running or photo shoots.

I sent her one on Friday, so given the holiday she should be recieving it any day. My mix was a little different genre focusing on the phenomenon of Texas music. I listen to such a broad range of music that it just kind of made sense to narrow it down to this little piece of me. I mixed in some CCR, Randy Rogers, Django Walker, Jason Boland and Stoney Larue to name a few. I wanted to include some Micky and the Motorcars, Mike McClure, Eli Young Band among a few more - but I couldn't fit it all. In fact, I started with over 40 of my favorite songs and it took me about 2 hours to keep shaving them down to 16 that would fit, changing my mind several times. I miss being able to see the live shows regularly, but I'm planning a trip sometime late spring to catch up a little.

Anyhow, I'm sure round #3 is coming soon, so stay tuned to Melissa's site for details - this little idea is one of the best since "going commando". Well, at least almost as good...

"DOMESTIC SPYING"

2006-01-17T13:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I alienated myself from many of my readers, so I guess I'm overdue...

This whole controversy about "Domestic Spying" really heats me up. I wasn't so bothered by the watchdog groups raising the issue because mostly they are like packs of little lap dogs - they bark a lot because they don't like somebody. It's just part of the game. But to have Al Gore stand up and make the ridiculous remarks he made makes me sick.

Many might disagree - which is fine, but I have no fundamental problem with "Domestic Spying". For one, the entire term is kind of a funny euphemism to begin with. "Domestic Spying". I liken it to "Hate Crimes". These terms are carefully constructed to incite an underlying paranoia as to motive, which I find irrelevant.

As for "Domestic Spying", are the people who oppose it going to be the first to bark at the government when another massive terroristic attack happens? Of course they would. Is it a little paranoid to think that the government is spying on you if you don't have something to hide? Um, yes. Personally, I say tap my phones - I've got nothin and it wouldn't take long to find that out. I think we need to allow our government -regardless of whom the president - the latitude to take care of some business. This not only includes "Domestic Spying", but it also should extend out to interrogatory techniques and other forms of gathering intel.

I'm not saying that there should be no limits - all I'm saying is that since there are many people who have a deep hatred for our president, they jump on everything possible to deface him without considering the facts. It's getting old. Hate him if you want, but try to peek underneath the coin to see the other side prior to making attacks. Al Gore should not have only looked to check out the other side of the coin, he should have reviewed the policies carried out by the administration on which he served as number two. Number two is right, Al Gore - that's exactly what you are - a big number two. Go back to inventing something - maybe you can claim the bicycle this time.

If you criticize "Domestic Spying", I won't be very sympathetic to your mourning when a loved one is a victim of "Domestic Terrorism".

As a sidenote: Just to clarify my position here, I'll state that "Hate Crimes" are crimes either way you look at it. How can a label imply that one crime is worse than another eventhough they are fundamentally the same crime? I.e. If a person is innocently beat to death by another person, is it really necessary to re-define the motive and intent making it more or less of a crime? The first person was still beat to death innocently - the outcome is the same either way. If someone robs your house, should it matter if they did it because they need money to buy crack, or because they just don't like you and want to take your things? They still robbed you. The punishment should be the same either way. (And I'll save the punishment rant for another day.)

CRASHERS

2006-01-12T11:19:00.000-08:00

Yep! Had to buy the Wedding Crashers DVD last night. I saw it in the theater, but its the best movie since Old School, so owning the DVD was obvious. One of my favorite parts is at the beginning:

Jeremy's assistant: "...I have the perfect girl for you!"

Jeremy (Vince Vaughn): “Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem eager to jump into a forced, awkward, intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling! You’re sitting there – wondering ‘Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking too much? Am I interested? Are they interested? Should I be interested? I feel like I’m interested, but I think she might be interested, but do I want to be interested, but now she’s not interested… so now I’m, I’m starting to get interested…’ And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door? Because then it’s awkward! It’s like ‘Do I do the ass-out hug?’ Where you hug each other like this, and your ass sticks out – because you’re trying not to get too close… Or do you go right in and kiss ‘em on the lips? Or don’t kiss them at all…… It’s very difficult to read the situation. And all the while, you’re really wondering, ‘Are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?’ And… play a little game called ‘Just the Tip’ – just for a second….just to see how it feels. Or ‘Ouch, Ouch, You’re On My Hair’…….”

So true. So true.

Update: Had a lunch date. She got the ass-out hug.

BLOGAVERSARY IN REVIEW

2006-01-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

As promised, I took a little time to reflect on the past year in blogland and this is what I've come up with...

Background: After Christmas last year, I was searching the net for something - most likely iPod info, being a new proud owner- and came across this new world of blogs. At first, I just lurked - finding a wide variety of blogs. Some were specific to food, some sex, some all about being a parent and others dedicated to any one of a number of random subjects like knitting, finger-painting, books - I even remember one specifically about just words. I couldn't get into the blogs that were focused on any one specific topic and gravitated toward the true web logs, where people wrote about their daily trials and tribulations. Within a few days I realized that to be in the game, I really needed my own site. At first, I really didn't know what to write - which wasn't really that big of a deal because nobody was reading it anyway. As time passed, I started to open up a little and write more about me - which in my head is my favorite topic- but I've never been comfortable with talking much about me to anyone else. Believe it or not, you all know much more about me than most people ever will.

Random Observations of my experience:

-I set out to write a book on men and women almost two years ago. I felt that the blog world would give me lots of research reference. I found that most of my observations on the battles between the sexes have been right on. I also found that although that might be true, I still don't know shit about women.

The book isn't progressing as I had expected.

- I'm a total smart-ass. I also tend to have a dry sense of humor.

- In the blog world, as in real life, the people who understand that I'm a smart-ass tend to like me. The people who don't get it, don't like me. I alienate myself often.

- I can be compassionate. Sometimes. This wasn't always the case.

- It's possible that I could feel for a woman again. This too, wasn't always the case. Not that i'm looking for anything - but for a long time, I was pretty dead to the concept. Is this because I suffered some kind of heart ache? Nope. I just seemed to attract women who were pains in the ass and high maintenance and I had better things to do. I do, by the way, take the majority of the blame for this.

- Learning more about women from the blog world has done me more harm than good. I used to be able to talk to women in blissful ignorance of how they were interpreting what I was saying. Now, I have this voice in the back of my head which is the collective conscience of all of my blog friends (vastly female) telling me what an idiot I sound like because of this, or that. I'm not crazy. Really, I'm not. Can this be used in a competency hearing??

- I've had the great pleasure of getting to know a few of my blog buddies in person. That's always been really fun and they're all cool people (even if they got mad at me for my drunken disappearing acts...).

- Its always funny when people ask us where we know each other from. There is always an awkward silence because saying you know someone from the internet can carry a negative connotation. On the other hand, saying "blogs" makes people say "what?".

-For those of you I know in person, if we again have to explain this to someone, we should come up with something far more creative. Like "We actually met at a wedding. Neither of us knew the bride or the groom - we just wanted free alcohol." or "We met in an OBGyn waiting room.... never mind why I was there."

-Many of my friends and family know about my blogging addiction. Only a couple know how to find mine. Mainly because nobody is really all that interested. Not that I want dear old mom spying on me, she did enough of that when I was a teenager. It was bad enough having her find copies of Penthouse under my mattress, she doesn’t need to hear anything else intimate about me.

-Everyone I know from blogging has considered giving it up at one time or another. A few of them have. Some from being shamed by something stupid they did or said. Others from life changes. Mostly though, my core of friends has been around since the beginning. Hard to believe I’ve “known” you all for almost a year.

-I cruise for new and interesting sites from time to time. I don’t find too many good ones. If I do, I like to comment.

-I think people get funny about making a new comment on a blog they’ve never commented – as if they don’t want to impose. I like all comments and they keep me motivated. Even if its someone saying “I hate you.” At least they have an opinion.

-Can someone explain why Dooce has such a popular site? It seems like thousands have a link to her site. I mean, she’s funny and all, but I have a feeling this was just a trend more than anything because I don’t see the value more than any of the sites I frequent. I’m not jealous – shut up.

-I would ask the same question about Osbasso (HNT), but then again – he promotes half-nekkid people. His site’s popularity is self-explanatory.

-Finally, I’m going to have a self-toast tonight – to the friends I’ve made here, and to the friends I have yet to make. CHEERS!!! (eww! I just threw-up in my mouth a little).

HOLY SHIT!!!

2006-01-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

It was just pointed out to me that today is my blogaversary!!! I'll take a time out from my UT tribute to reminesce sometime at the beginning of next week. Since I've always been shy about posting my own mug here, and I have a new camera - here's a pic of me working hard today as my blogaversary gift to you all (Y'all).

USC'S DEFENSIVE LINE

2006-01-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

Well, they might be a little on the small side, but they sure are pretty, don't you think?

....for hookers.

WAS THERE EVER ANY DOUBT??

2006-01-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

That Vince would steal the show............... He should have won the Heisman and people are now realizing that.

And the crowd goes WILLLLLDDDDD!!!!!!!

My boy CPM sporting the colors..........

I had time between signing autographs for a photo op with Hooters girl from Houston...........

BEVO

2006-01-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

USC- This is one thing you won't miss. This is BEVO!!!!!!!!!! He craps bigger than you.

JUST IN CASE

2006-01-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

USC - Just in case you didn't get a good enough look at Vince Young on the first post, here's another look at your worst nightmare.

DOOMS DAY (FOR USC)

2006-01-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

After way too long, the day has finally arrived. Yes folks, today is the day that Vince Young and the Texas Longhorns show the world who REALLY is #1 in college football. Beginning at 5:00pm Pacific time, the much anticipated "Game of the Century" will commence. The National Championship. The

If you played on the USC defense, this would be what you would see for a split second. And it would be your worst nightmare. His name: Vince Young.

HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW TOY

2006-01-03T10:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas gift from the folks:

I'm excited to start using it - so far it's a little intimidating because of all the functions.

I may even think about posting some pics.........

We'll see.

FOOD POISONING

2005-12-29T16:16:00.000-08:00

Yeah. Not so fun.

'Nuff said.

BACK TO REALITY?

2005-12-27T14:43:00.000-08:00

You missed me, didn't you! Don't deny it! I know you did!

Okay, so its really not that uncommon for me to not post for a week at a time, but it FEELS like I've been gone a while. I really didn't drink much on my trip, which I'm thinking is why it felt like an eternity. I'm not complaining - it was a great trip and I felt like I accomplished a lot thats been looming over my head for a long time.

Just one little rant - because they're fun and that's what I do.

For various reasons, I had several different legs of my flights, 8 in all. This means that I had 8 different experiences with sitting by people. 2 were uneventful because I had an empty seat next to me, which is always ideal. Other than that, I had (1) fat guy, sitting in the middle seat, taking up a third, to a half of the seats on either side of him. (1) That Guy, who isn't big, but pretends he is, thereby sprawling out so that he takes up a third to a half of either seat next to him. (1) little old lady who after a 51 minute flight, thinks that I really need to marry her grand-daughter. (1) little old guy who was on a late night mission to Reno because he felt lucky and couldn't pass on hitting the "big" casinos that Reno has to offer. (1) Techy who got out his portable DVD player and frantically fumbled with it to be able to watch the most of "Sin City" that he could in the 12 1/2 minutes they allow you to use "approved portable devices listed on the back page of the 'Sky' magazine". (1) Middle aged lady with dragon coffee breath who wouldn't stop talking straight at me. Lady! 1982 called. They want you to bury the 'do - immediately! They also want you to invest in Orbit gum, which they say can be done at any concourse kiosk.

I'm not the kind of guy who likes to talk to people on planes. At the same time, I'm not the guy who can tell people to back the fuck off. Afterall, sometimes people need to talk to ease their stress of flying. Also, you never know what they have been through - eventhough you may know it by the end of the flight. Having said all that, since I was flying Southwest and people can pick their own seats, I like it when a cute girl chooses to sit by me. I'm kind of partial to window seats and rarely sit anywhere else. Said cute girls never sit down directly next to me, but in the isle seat. The problem? Inevitably, some douchepump will sit down between us despite the plethora of empty seats throughout the plane. Nobody wins in this situation, except the fucktard who's taking up a third to a half of the seats on either side of him.

A few tactics I do to avoid people on planes:
1) Pretend I'm sleeping. Then, there are always the people who nail you in the face with their jacket or something that clearly proves that you are either awake already, or are awake now.
2) Pretend to be listening to my iPod. This used to not be a problem until the little flight attendants started coming around like Nazis making sure that the "Approved portable devices found on the back page of 'Sky' magazine" are not in use. This means having to take out the earphones.
3) Get the George Costanza busy/concerned/stressed look on my face. This is often the best course of action because it makes everyone else, including the flight attendants, a little edgy. I know, I'm a sick man.
4)Fake twitching. A real crowd pleaser! Especially if accompanied by some vocal frosting mimicking a Turet's outburst. *shoulder twitch* "Yeah, I totally agree! FILTHY WHORE!!" *head snap* "BALLLLLLLLLLLLICKER!!!!

HAPPY BLOW-OFF WEEK!!!

2005-12-19T14:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not convinced much gets done by anyone this week. Seems like once Christmas parties have taken place, everyone goes into professional hibernation mode until after New Year's day.

In lieu of this, I'm leaving for Washington for the week to visit some folks. Hope you all have a great Christmas and that santa is good to you.

I'll leave you with this festive poem, which highlights an important upcoming event....

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THE ROSE BOWL

Twas the night of the Rose Bowl and all through the land,
All the Longhorns were stirring, even the band.
The tickets were purchased for the game, room, and air
In hopes that Saint Vincent would soon be there!!
The fans were tailgating from their truck beds,
While a vision of a championship danced in their heads.
And Bevo in his bridle, and me in my cap|
Had just popped a cold one before the first snap.
When out on the turf there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter!!
My eyes fixed on the tunnel, and the thundering herd;
The roar of the fight song; I sang every word!!
They ran to the end zone, and knelt to their maker
Giving thanks for TEXAS, and the victory later!!
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear.
Coach Mack in his glory, THE HEAD COACH OF THE YEAR!
And our hero from Houston that I haven't seen since;
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Vince!
More rapid than eagles his posse they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
Now, THOMAS! Now, TAYLOR! Now, PITTMAN and SWEED!
On, CHARLES! On, GRIFFIN! ROSS, HUFF and McGEE!
To the top of the world for a championship crown!
Now dash away, dash away, to a TEXAS touchdown!
They fought with fury! They fought with might!
They fought like champions on this championship night!
Oh! The bombs they flew, and the holes blew open
The Longhorns ran the ball just as we were hopin'.
The defense attacked, and oh, they played hard!
Stopping the Trojans, in their own back yard!
Macks eyes how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, the crystal ball he did carry!
He embraced his coaches, he embraced his team!
And The Eyes of TEXAS we all did sing
A season that will live forever in lore;
COME EARLY, WEAR ORANGE, STAY LATE, once more!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, TEXAS!! HOOK 'EM HORNS

YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!

2005-12-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

STUPIFIED

2005-12-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Either Jesse Jackson has found the key to quantum physics, has an identical twin - or someone's facts are just plain wrong.

Last night, it is reported that he was two places at one time, on opposite coasts.

Was he at Terrell Owens' birthday bash?

or

Was he protesting Tookie Williams' execution?

You be the judge, but I do find it funny that many of the celebs that were politicking for Tookie Williams felt that attending a birthday party in New York for a volitile, cocky, egocentric, spurned athelete was a more important cause to attend.

Are these people serious?

I'm just sayin'.

As for Jesse Jackson, I don't care if you are liberal or conservative- this wannabe MLK hasn't really done a whole lot of people any favors. He's no MLK and never will be because he's all agenda and no heart.

My bet is that he was in NY. But that's just me.

DEFINITION OF ASSHOLE #90

2005-12-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

Asshole. n. 90) One who, when in a group dinner setting, orders 4 appetizers, the most expensive entree and copious amounts of alcohol just before suggesting that the check should be split evenly.

I'm not cheap, I really don't mind spending some good money on food and drink at a nice restaurant with friends. It's not about the money, this shit just bothers me because of the lack of respect and consideration for the others at the table.

So why #90? Because this happened last night in a group and despite the fact that most people had no more than $35 worth of food and drink, everyone ended up shelling out $90. Again, its not the money, just the concept.

That's all I got.

I'll lick my wounds, can you pass the salt?

2005-12-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

As if many people this time of year don't feel a little on the lonely side, THIS report comes out - just to give them another kick in the stomach. Good times.

Mmmm! RUM!

2005-12-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

I'm pirating this from Ricky's site because its just too funny not to:

TRUE (NON)FORTUNE

2005-12-06T10:37:00.000-08:00

Your Fortune Is

Underwear is not the best thing on earth - but next to it.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

So its not really a fortune, but more a statement of fact. I've noticed that within the last few years, "Fortune" cookies have become "statement" cookies. What happened to the good old days when your fortune said something positive like "Soon you will find great wealth"? Enough ranting though, at least the statement is true.

MORE "CLOSURE"

2005-11-29T11:15:00.000-08:00

I got another "closure" call a few days ago. I'm actually not going to bitch about this one. It was actually a good call. The girl is one of the best girls I've ever dated. She was brilliant, fun, loyal, beautiful, easy-going, etc. etc.

So what happened? I got bored. Actually, maybe I just got scared. I wasn't that far out of marriage when we met, so that was probably a factor too. She lived a couple hours away, which was perfect in some ways - bad in others. Things were great until they started moving out of the "honeymoon" period and into the "comfortable" period. I just wasn't ready. That's the bottom line.

A few months ago, I called her to check in and see how she's doing. She didn't answer, but called back a few days later and I didn't answer. Then, a few days later I called her - she answered and was with her new boyfriend. We had a great conversation at the time, which apparently her new guy was a little miffed and threatened by. I can understand - especially because she had previously referred to me as the "love of her life" to him. She sounded happy though, and that's all I want for her because she's a great girl.

The closure call, she said, was more for him than her. She said that she had come to terms with things between us over time and that at this point, it wasn't really an issue. However, the new guy has been having issues with it and she was calling, more out of respect for him - to tell me that she was "over" me. I really don't mind this - provided it makes their relationship better, but I'm really not sure of the point. I mean, it wasn't like she was saying she didn't want to talk to me ever again - quite the contrary actually. In fact, she is making me some CDs to help recover some that I lost in the move to SD.

I'm not a jealous person, but I guess I could understand things in this case. I do, however, believe that especially in our day and age when people aren't getting hitched until later in life - that you have to be more tolerant that people will often stay friends after they realize that they aren't so good as a couple.

PRODUCTIVITY

2005-11-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

Is anyone working today? No - I don't mean AT work, because lots of us are. I mean actually WORKING. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I'm attempting to get some things done, but its not happening. I'm much more concerned with how I'm going to pull off cooking for 20+ people tomorrow. Lots of the prep will come tonight, before I go out and drink for the first time in 5 days. I still can't decide on a salad dressing - I want to do a balsamic viniagrette, but a rasberry viniagrette is sounding really good too. This all sounds really ridiculous because I don't stress about little shit like this. Its not me. Maybe its just because I have nothing else of any importance to worry about right now. Shit.

So anyhow, I gave my assistant the day off today - it was an option: She could come to work and get paid, or she could take the day without pay but also without it counting toward her vacation time. She took option B, which is just as well. People aren't productive on days before holidays - its just a given. When I worked for other people, I always thought that everyone should be given this option. Now that I can call the shots, thats just the way it is. She's getting paid for tomorrow and Thursday though. Because thats also just the way it is.

Thats all I got. Have a great long weekend!

COMMENTARY OF OUR RELATIONSHIP

2005-11-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

Overall, I think we have a pretty good relationship. As with any relationship, there are a couple of issues, but I'm not bitching. Really, I'm not.

You never bitch at me or complain about messes I make when I'm drunk.

You know what to expect from me and what I expect from you.

Sometimes you don't fullfill those expectations to the best of your ability, but I don't complain because nobody is perfect and I can be a little picky. Also, I'm not perfect and usually am the originator of the problem itself.

You confuse me with what I think might be "silent protests". You know what I'm talking about - when you "put away" something of mine, but its not in its proper spot and nowhere to be found and I spend hours, sometimes weeks or months trying to find it and you've known where it is the whole time. Or when you replace things in a slightly different spot, so that it takes extra effort for me to realize the new place, even if its still visible from its usual place. Is this on purpose?

I really like how you keep secrets though. You never say a word about anything you know of my private life. Things that nobody else needs to know about. In you, I have such confidence.

I like that we don't see each other everyday or that there is never a jealousy factor. You know I have other people that fullfill other needs I might have and that you too, have other people you see.

In fact, I'm glad we've never actually seen each other because I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with looking at you, knowing that you know so much about me.

But I love you just the same, Cleaning Lady. For you make my life so much easier and stress free and I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.

Love,

B

PS, I finally found the Digital Camcorder that you put in the bottom drawer underneath the old clothes. You know, the one I gently accused party go-ers at the house of "borrowing" 3 months ago. Thanks for your help on that!

YEAH, I'M A TOOL

2005-11-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I've done one of these and Melissa's inspired me to kill some (more) time....

Your Birthdate: May 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.
You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.
Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.
You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance.

Your strength: Your bold approach to life

Your weakness: You don't accept help

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Pyramid

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What's up with that? I saw hers and thought I should expect a little dose of daily affirmation. Instead, I get in-your-face reality check.

So, I'm not sure what to do here. Admittance? Acceptance? Denial?

I'm going with Deny, Deny, Deny.

ps. can someone explain to me what a "power month" is????

EVOLUTION OF BOYS AND GIRLS

2005-11-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

When I was in second grade and I saw a pretty girl, the prettier she was the more difficult it was for me to come up with something to talk to her about.

In my silence, the best I could do was shoot her a crosseyed goofy look on my face.

She'd laugh.

I'd get laid.

All was good.

Okay, maybe I didn't get laid - it was only second grade for crissakes!

This type of behavior on my part hasn't changed dramatically.

However, what did change eventually is the success rate. It was a sliding scale gradually becoming less effective over the last decade or so, where this radical change happens between men and women. I'm not exactly sure at what point it all happens - and it varies with each person- but typically the "shift" happens for people between 20 and 22.

Before this shift, Girls are smart about everything EXCEPT boys. Conversely, Boys are smart about NOTHING but girls. Then the rolls get really jumbled and as girls get smarter about boys, boys get dumber and more clueless with girls. As this happens and boys get smarter about other things, this makes them more nerdy- which for many girls who are now smarter about boys, isn't as appealing. For the really smart girls, this is appealing but the field became so wide that they have lots of guys to choose from.

My dad says that it was much easier to successfully meet girls (and have "relations") in 1968 than it was in 1981 (the year before he met my mom and the year I learned what divorce meant, respectively). I laughed and explained my above theory.

I told him that he shouldn't feel so alone- I've now joined his ranks.

If you are a girl and see a guy shoot you a goofy crosseyed look on his face, you should laugh and go talk to him because chances are he's a really nice guy. And he thinks you're cute. And it might be me.

FINALLY!!!

2005-11-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

Finally someone is not about ridiculous law suits and accepts the fact that sometimes shit happens.

Read here.

SHORT POST

2005-11-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

As I get older, I'm finding unwanted hair in unwanted places. This is not good.

But I'm not going to worry about it too much, because I'M GOING TO SEE THE ROLLING STONES TONIGHT!!!!

Talk about getting old! Keith Richards has to be at least 125.

(told you it was short)

ALL THINGS ORAL

2005-11-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

Not being the religous type, I often shy away from reading anything that has undertones of "moral superiority" by faith.

However, THIS ARTICLE caught my eye - and I'm confident I won't have to explain exactly why.

It was refreshing though, to see a well rounded philosophy offering a possible solution/explaination to some of the issues that kids face today, albeit he is clergy so he does use God as a base. For and "old" guy, the writer seems fairly in touch with these issues.

As a caveat, I will say that as a teen, I was on the giving side (with girls, of course!) as much if not more than the recieving side.

BOOK BLUES

2005-11-08T14:15:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading another book in the wee hours of this morning. A long book. A good book.

Problem is - and I find this more often than not - that I felt like the ending left so many unanswered questions. Sure, the answers may be irrelevant to the central them of the story, but I feel left with issues unresolved.

I'm sure many people don't mind the hanging questions, maybe even actually like it.

I think I'm going to start writing my own continuation to the endings of books. That way, I'll feel like there is total closure and resolution.

In the past, you've heard me rant about how women always seem to want closure on relationships. Maybe the way I feel about the book is the way they feel about the relationship.

Interesting twist of irony.

I was thinking of starting Don Quixote, but going from long book to long book might not be a good idea. Maybe I should read a short book first. A rebound book.

RIOTING IN FRANCE????

2005-11-07T15:22:00.000-08:00

WTH?

If you hadn't read about the peril in France, I'll roughly sum it up for the sake of short discussion. Two immigrant kids from the slums thought they might be getting chased by the police. They hid. They were electrocuted by a transformer while hiding. The people get mad. They say everyone neglects the poor and impoverished youths. They start rioting and looting.

Am I the only one who thinks there are some serious flaws with this whole scenario?

There are so many personal responsibility issues on so many levels related to this circus.

The French think we are messed up?

Like I said - Short discussion.

ON THE COVER OF ROLLING STONE.......

2005-11-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

Ha!!!! Its a good day.

One of my clients just gave me tickets to the Rolling Stones concert next weekend. I'm not a huge concert buff, mostly because I'm not thrilled about commercial music these days - I mean, I feel like big label companies totally dictate what the public likes in music. There is so much more out there. However, the Stones and U2 are two acts I've not yet seen, but would like to. Both bands have gained popularity because they produce good music and have stayed true to it. So as of next Saturday, I'll get to cross one off the list!

The best part........ I didn't have to pay for the tickets, which are selling on the street for around $1000.00!!!!!

BLOCKED

2005-11-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

I have tons of marketing crap to create and I've not a creative bone in my body today. Must be the post-party depression kicking in from the weekend.

I need help.

MOURNING THE 'STROS

2005-10-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

After suffering the death blow last night in the World Series, I recieved the following message this morning from BRANDY:

From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2005 8:10 AM
To: Brian
Subject: With Deepest Sympathy

Hi Sweetie-

I heard on the news last night about your tragic loss-know that you and your family, the beloved Astros, are in my thoughts and prayers. Call me if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you want me to bring over a big platter of funeral fried chicken =)

Again I express my deepest sympathy, please know that I am here for you if you need me.

Other than last night, how have you been?

Brandy

My reply:

From: Brian
Sent: Thursday, October 27, 2005 8:35 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: With Deepest Sympathy

Thanks very much for your condolences Brandy. It’s good to know that someone cares. I’ll be in mourning for the next 10 to 12 years, but perhaps with some extensive therapy, I can put this all behind me someday and move on with my life…

Thanks so much for your kind words during this difficult time (and for the poultry as well).

-Brian

p.s. “Other than last night, how have you been?” Isn’t that kind of like saying, “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?”

E-BAY REALLY CRACKS ME UP SOMETIMES

2005-10-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

This dude deserves serious props for this one....

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541

I KNOW YOU EXPECTED THIS

2005-10-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

The Astros kick ASSSS!!!!!

I was so happy last night that I actually slept well. And I was nice to people. Okay, I'm usually pretty nice. Sometimes. Occasionally.

I will say, that I wish they were playing the Red Sox in the World Series because thats about the only AL team I care much about. Plus, I think that would be a really good series.

I'm done raving now. Thanks for listening (reading).

REALLY??

2005-10-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

Just saw a news story entitled "Weight Loss May Help Your Sex Life".

No shit?

'Nuff said.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS

2005-10-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

-First and formost, THE ASTROS KICK ASS!!!!!

-I recieved several responses to the last post via e-mail from people taking exception to my dig on Cali-forn-I-A. I'm glad to see some people with pride enough to call me out. It brought a realization to something I had been pondering. People love to hate Texas, and I've never understood why. Texans are the most proud of their state of any state I've ever lived or visited (I've been to all lower-48), and I've never really understood why. It came to me that people hating Texas has made people in Texas have to be more proud of Texas which just makes people hate Texas more. Its kind of a symbiotic relationship. I actually like Cali and the people I've chosen to be friends with here. Its no Texas, but there are some decent people here. If you read my blog regularly and you are from California - I'd probably like you.

-The guy who got beat by the New Orleans Police... As someone who has spent a lot of time in NOLA, I can attest that these fuckers are first-class vigalante jackasses. I'm hoping that the re-building of the city will include the re-building of these fuckers.

-What the hell with all the natural disasters over the past year?? I'm glad I don't live in a state where there are a lot of them. Especially earthquakes and wildfires.....

-Montana doesn't have any natural disasters. Granted, the occasional blizzard and -90 degree days aren't fun, but hey - If you know you are going to hell, you might as well die in Montana - you might get to take some ice with you.

-Maybe I should move back to Montana - I'm definitely going to hell.

-My buddy told people at the company I used to work for that I moved to Cali and became a male stripper (yeah, right!). Its a multinational company and I knew a lot of co-workers overseas so i'm sure this is getting around quickly. On the one hand, I should be pissed that he spreads this bullshit (but thats just him, he knows payback is a bitch). Then I realized that my sexual appeal amongst the women I used to work with overseas just shot up considerably.

-I don't know why I would care about my sex appeal with the women in my old company.

-If a runner on first base passes second base on a fly ball, the rules state that he has to re-tag second before hustling back to first to tag-up. If he doesn't, the defense can throw the ball to second base and he's called out. But if he doesn't re-tag second, and the defense doesn't notice and gives the ball back to the Pitcher, then does he still get called out?

-Does the same rule apply to the "Bases Scale" for hooking-up with a girl? Because going all the way back to first and THEN being called out just sucks.

-If I could have any job in the world, I think it would be the person who gets to name developments and condo/apartment complexes. Seriously, you can't fail at this job. All you have to do is make up a name for an area and add in some kind of type of landscape. Niether of which have to be present to make sense. The Mills at Cortez Hill - there are no mills nor is there a hill, much less names Cortez. The Meadows at GlennBrooke - the only meadows I see are the meadows of rooftops, and there is no Glenn nor is there a Brook, but the double N and the E at the end sure sound good, so it must be a nice place. Melissa, you have the "in" to this industry, can you tell me where to get that job?

-My buddy asked me if it was a bad thing that he had a more intimate relationship with his Playboy magazine than with his girlfriend. My first response was, "Which issue?"

-A little while later he asked me again and I considered his girlfriend. I simply said, "No."

-I hope everyone has as good of a weekend as I'd like to have. Then on Monday we can all be miserable together.

SCARY!!!!

2005-10-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Not like Halloween scary, or Sixth Sense scary. More like Ashlee Simpson being a famous person scary.

Since I've been in California, I've seen several people fake a phone call (all in jest to fake someone out, i.e. "You didn't really say that to her, I'm calling her right now to ask her." type thing). The scary thing is how GOOD they were at faking this. That kind of fakeness takes some serious practice. This leads me to believe that there are lots of people around here that have fake conversations on their phones; and often. It shouldn't surprise me I guess though. Afterall, this IS California...